25 Hamsters on my Face...

I get a lot of compliments. 

Oh, I'm not bragging. It's just that I am a complete weirdo when it comes to fashion.  It's to the point that when I wear something fashionably appropriate, people comment on it.  If my hoodie doesn't have ears on it, people will compliment me for dressing like a 33-year-old. It's probably the passive aggressive way to remind me that Pokemon sweaters are not "work appropriate".

True story: I wore this hoodie and caught a mouse in a bucket.  I feel like the mouse saw me as a giant mouse and thought I was the God of mouses and willingly entered the bucket. 
Another reason I get a lot of compliments could be that I give out compliments - constantly. It's usually when I'm nervous and have nothing else to say. Complimenting someones sweater, hair or pantyhose choice that day is a comfortable way for me to be social with somebody.  I mean you can't turn a compliment into a negative - unless you're an over-thinker like me and then you will go home and think about that compliment forever and ever and never wear those pantyhose again. That being said, complimenting someone on their pantyhose is a risk.  It gets weird real quick.

A few weeks ago I got new glasses.  I ran out of daily contacts (which really turned out to be bi-monthly contacts near the end), so I had to buy some new glasses. I have saved one special pair of contacts so if I meet a handsome fella I can put on my last pair of contacts and get a total "Laney Boggs makeover" (PS - if you get that reference, we can be friends forever).

As you can see, I wasn't always good at picking glasses.  My first pair was pink...because I was eight years old and I liked pink.  That's me in the middle with the big pink glasses hiding by the giant baby (seriously...why is that baby so big???)

I have had a phobia about wearing glasses.  We didn't always have money when I was a kid.  My glasses always came from the "social assistance wall".  The selection wasn't always great (but I somehow lucked out and got that stylin pair of pink glasses above) but they made me see things and not fall down all the time so thanks "social assistance wall".  Looking back now, I remember every time I had to be in a photo, my mom would swoop down out of nowhere and take the glasses off my face.  Here you are holding your sister - take off your glasses.  Here you are on your first day of school - take off your glasses.  Here you are a junior bridesmaid in your uncle's wedding - take off your glasses and walk down an aisle in front of hundreds of people, oh and don't trip and embarrass the whole family. I don't think my mother realized how blind I have been all of my whole entire life.

Anyway, I went and did a grown up thing and got these glasses all by myself (note: I had help).  I picked a pair without those little nose pad thingys, mostly because my glasses usually weigh as much as a puppy or maybe a glass of milk.  Disclaimer: My glasses probably don't weigh as much as a puppy, but I forget how much a puppy weighs so maybe they do - there's just no way of knowing without scientific material.

I was pleasantly surprised when I picked up my glasses and they only weighed as much as a hamster (if you haven't already been able to tell, I have been guessing weight by animals lately - don't judge).  That's when I knew this no contact rule was going to work out.  I literally* have a hamster on my face and it feels nice.

* - Not literally

I wore these glasses around the house for a while to make sure I didn't walk into any doors. After that trial period was over, I wore them out in public. More specifically, I wore them to work. The place where I see people more than I see my family.  Sometimes we like each other, sometimes we fight over grippy paperclips, but we almost always let each other know how we feel about their choice of fashion that day.  It's just what office people do to feel comfortable.  Talk about the skanks on The Bachelor and compliment each other.

Just remove the hat and these glasses are what normal people would wear...right? I mean I got them at Costco...you don't get any more normal than that. 


Anyway, I picked a normalish outfit and threw on my new pair of hamster goggles and went to work with some prime ammo for my co-workers to compliment me on.

...and nobody said a word. 

I have been pretty sensitive lately.  I admit that I haven't been the easiest person to be around.  Which makes me think that not receiving any awkward office compliments on my new glasses means that everyone thinks they make my face look stupid(er) and that they are just afraid to tell me, fearing that I will turn into Mel Gibson (or insert some other more current relevant angry person) and have an office tantrum. You do not want to see how an office tantrum goes down in these parts.

Now I'm kind of wondering if they make me look dumb.  Actually, don't answer that. I paid about 25 hamsters for these things so I can't really hear about how dumb they make my face look now.

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ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Hello..this is my blog. I bought this fancy theme and I don't know what to write here just yet. Maybe one day remind me I have to write something inspiring here?

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