It all began with "How do you spell rock?"...
I've started this new routine where I pick up EVILBOY from school and we walk home together. I used to drive the car there, pick him up and drive home. This way we get a little exercise and time to slow down our evening routine. I kind of like it (I don't like it so much when it's -16 degrees).
On our way home I usually quiz him on how to spell words. Since he's been having trouble in school, it's a good way to help him practice without making him feel like he's doing more work when he gets home - and it was working, until tonight.
Me: How do you spell rock?
EB: STOP PRESSURING ME!
EB: YOU'RE ALWAYS PRESSURING ME
So I guess my little spelling game wasn't as fun as I thought it was. My mommy radar was going full blast thought, I just knew something was up with him. This wasn't about a stupid word. I let him vent until I could feel my toes again (-16 is a shit). I explained to him that the way he was spelling rock is wrong. He argued with me until I pulled in my assistant Siri to prove to him that I was right.
This was not about spelling a word though.
A child doesn't get this worked up over a silly four letter word. He doesn't run in his room, slam his door and throw his face in his smelly old pillow because he was wrong. Eventually he admitted to me that he had a bad day because the grade four boys wouldn't play with him. I guess when he asked to play a game with them a boy pushed him and told him to go away.
My first reaction was to go all Captain Insano and meet these kids on the schoolyard at recess and tell them how awesome my kid is. I was reminded of the girls that teased me for wearing a Hypercolor shirt (which is totally stupid because Hypercolor shirts were awesome!). I'm not so sure that making these children play with my kid would be the right thing to do.
I just told him to shrug and walk away. I told him to find some other kids to play with. Being excluded from a group is never an easy thing to deal with. I'm afraid this isn't going to be the only time he is excluded though. All I can do is teach him to have tough skin. Let those feelings roll off your back.
I want him to know that it doesn't matter that you're different. I love being a different character. I started to get so many more compliments when I started portraying myself rather than trying to fit in just to be like someone else.
I want him to know that being excluded from a group playing a silly recess game is probably not the worst thing that will happen to him this week. If you can get through silly things like this, the real situations become easier to deal with.
I want him to know that he is an amazing kid. He is really smart and has a beautiful personality. I don't want him to ever lose his love for others just because he isn't picked to be in a game.
I want him to know that he will grow up one day into a man who cares about the feelings of others. He will have compassion and love for people and he will be able to put these traits to good use - to change the world, even if only in a small way.
Hang in there kid. Just like spelling tests, life gets easier with experience.
Have you ever dealt with a bully?
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Hello..this is my blog. I bought this fancy theme and I don't know what to write here just yet. Maybe one day remind me I have to write something inspiring here?