Resolute....



Resolutions, smesolutions (take that spell check!).
The end of the holiday season is always a hard one for me emotionally.

It's hard to be bawling to Swiss Chalet commercials one day to having weight loss advertisements shoved in your face the next.

The left over ugly snow and deflated reindeer on people's lawns really put my emotions on edge.

All that chocolate I ate over the holidays...

January is a monster!

Rather than make depressing resolutions, I am setting little white goals that I would like to steer towards.  If I don't make it, so what, there's always 2014...2015...you get the idea.

This year I am focusing more on who I want to be: 

I am way too hard on myself.  I blame myself for all my shortfalls which then puts me in a depressed state.  It's a vicious cycle.  This year I am not going to be so hard on myself. I am only capable of so many things, so if being superwoman has to be put on hold, so be it.

I am going to stop having so many reservations. I am always wondering what people will think.  Even now I edited out a dumb joke about reservations because I figured someone would read it and think I'm a weirdo. I can accept that change, it's only day two after all and also (see last paragraph).  But I shall warn you now, next time I will say my joke about reservations, because I don't care what you think (okay I still kind of do...this is not working). Maybe being a weirdo isn't so bad?

I want to be more meaningful - you know, honestly, I wrote down the word meaningful on this list here and I'm not even sure what I meant by that....soooo *whistles* Wanna hear a reservations joke?

I want to be outside more!  I don't go out enough, I am like a hermit and in turn I am making my son be a hermit.  I have to start facing the world again with the breeze in my face and the ground (that hopefully isn't littered with dog poo) under my feet. Just the other week I was outside for more than a half an hour and I saved a bird's life...I mean the bird turned around and tried to attack my friend and I after we saved it, but we totally rescued that bird (ask me about the bird and I will write a whole post about it! ....seriously, just ask!).

I want to learn more.  I have already started this by downloading smart people books on my iPad. I am going to read things other than 50 Shades of Grey. Things that will make me smarter.

I want to be inspiring.  I need to stop mourning myself and start living for others. I want to understand the needs of others more and be there for others as much as I can.

I want to be more artistic.  I want to draw more. My family used to draw all the time and I used to really enjoy it.  Then my brother and sister got really good at drawing and I thought my drawings really sucked so I stopped.  I need to start drawing again...even if my drawings are shitty.  I want to start blogging on paper.  I miss handwriting and a little book with all my ideas in it.

I think I am ready to be in love. I say this every year, but when it comes down to it I run away from it. Maybe I am really really ready this time and if I'm not, it's really okay.  I want to show more affection.  I want to not shy away from friendly hugs, even if I am like a rabid cat when you try to hug me.




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ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Hello..this is my blog. I bought this fancy theme and I don't know what to write here just yet. Maybe one day remind me I have to write something inspiring here?

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