Lucky...

I was reminded of how lucky I really am the other day. I have been in this “place” for seven years now. In this place I have absolutely no concern for others. The only person I feel sorry for is myself.

It’s an illness. It’s disgusting. It’s the way I see myself every single day.

I portray myself as caring, but I really don’t. Your vacation not turning out the way it should have pales significantly compared to what I have endured. Even though that may sound pretty selfish, it is honest.

Where I used to be a very empathetic person, I am now an unemotional shell of the person I used to be.

It is very frustrating. I am not completely dead inside, I do have feelings for people in certain circumstances, but they are nothing compared to the way things used to be.

The other day I got some news about a family member and I had feelings.

Love.
Panic.
Worry.
Fear.
Longing.
Anger.

I felt them all. At once. It was surreal.

I realized how differently my day could have turned out. I realized how much I could have lost. I realized how much I neglect and take for granted.

It was like a fucked up therapy session.

I am still “feeling” from it.

Just your daily reminder to stop taking those you love for granted. Make sure they know you love them and that they know that you forgive them for giving you grey hair early.

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ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Hello..this is my blog. I bought this fancy theme and I don't know what to write here just yet. Maybe one day remind me I have to write something inspiring here?

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