(aka - When things don't go quite as planned)

I promised myself I wouldn't chicken out. I said I would walk into that clinic and tell that doctor exactly what I wanted.  That didn't happen.

I have been suffering with Psoriasis ever since I turned 30.  It was quite literally actually. I turned 30 and then Psoriasis hit.  Nobody else in my family has it.  In fact, I don't know anybody else with this disease.  Which is really quite frustrating.

So for a year and a half now I have had absolutely no self confidence.  I hide from friends. I politely omit myself from social events I previously enjoyed.  Over this period of time I have pretty much isolated myself.  A modern day Quasimodo if you will.

This disease has taken so much from me. I am supposed to be thirty and ready to mingle or something along those lines, not hoping that my forehead doesn't decide to flake off into my martini.  I am completely sick of it.

I have spent hundreds (maybe even into the thousands) of dollars on treatment and absolutely nothing has helped - except for the common cold.  When I am sick, my psoriasis clears up completely and I feel normal - except for the congestion and swollen nose and generally yucky cold feeling.  I can never win.

After trying all the topical medications and UV light therapies offered to me by the dermatologist with no success, I have decided to put my foot down and tell my dermatologist that I am tired of smelling like tar and getting naked in the creepy doctor's office. I am ready to try the hard stuff.

I even tweeted about being smelly!

I have read all about the risks and precautions and honestly, they do scare me, but I am ready to start living again. I am tired of people asking about the "mosquito bites" on my legs. I am tired of looking like this:

Even this picture won't cooperate.  It shall forever be sideways!

I am so frustrated with the dermatology treatment I have received.  I have seen two dermatologists - neither of which have looked at my skin.  They write prescriptions and try to sell you expensive shit to clear it up.  The problem is, I'm not falling for it anymore.  I will not put out another $50+ for some "miracle cream".

After going back to the initial dermatologist who didn't look at me as she wrote my five prescriptions, I have learned that I have to wait another three months to see "if it goes away".  She sent me on my merry way with a recommendation to buy $35 cream from her and pamphlets on how to give myself needles. 

Trying to look on the bright side:
-At least nobody will want to turn me into a skin lamp?
-If I ever have to take the bus, nobody will sit in the seat next to me because they'll think I'm contagious. 
-Sometimes the patches can look quite bad ass.
-Maybe I can get a Freddy Krueger tattoo on my psoriasis patch  and it will look real because it will all flake off and stuff.

In all seriousness though - I do not wish this upon anyone.

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Hello..this is my blog. I bought this fancy theme and I don't know what to write here just yet. Maybe one day remind me I have to write something inspiring here?


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