Dancing In Between....

Not okay.

I can't really explain it, but something hasn't felt right for a while now.
I feel like something has to change - but nothing ever does.
Which is only my fault.

I find myself pretending to be somebody else every single day.
It's exhausting.
and now I want someone to be worried about me.
but nobody ever is.
Again, my fault.

I have pushed so many people out of my life.
So many of them I want back.
When people leave voluntarily it kills me.
I don't want this to change.
but it does - and here I am.

I would have done anything for him.  Anything.
I loved being that person. 

I realize that I could possibly live forever without anyone ever noticing the patterns in my eyes.
I could live like this forever and never feel the joy to be there for someone - to love.
and now I don't know how to feel.

A friend I miss already.

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Hello..this is my blog. I bought this fancy theme and I don't know what to write here just yet. Maybe one day remind me I have to write something inspiring here?


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