What is your royal wedding name?

I've got my pretties on, just waiting for my royal wedding invitation to arrive in the mail. I mean they are kind of giving me short notice, but when it does arrive I will be ready!

While waiting for my invite, I figured I should probably come up with my royal wedding guest name. I mean I can't just go in there with my boring old first and last name - so embarrassing.

My royal wedding guest name shall be:

Lady Daisy Tuffy-Grey

What is your royal wedding name?

-Start with lord or lady
-Add the name of one of your grandparents
-The name of your first pet
- Hyphen
-Name of the street you grew up on

Appreciated...

Chocolate-covered fruit, boxes of chocolates and gift cards to my favourite fro-yo shop.  I felt so appreciated.  My most favourite gift of all was the words. 

The words came in all day. Some came deep from the heart, some were hilarious and each and every one of them warmed my heart.

Most days I feel like nothing I do matters.  I feel like my job is really meaningless, just another way to pay the bills.  The words today reminded me that I am so much more than just someone who sits in front of a computer all day. 

I'm usually not one for these "commercial holidays" but today made me feel like I am an important part of my company.

and I loved every moment of it. 


If you missed Administrative Professionals Day, there is still time to send a quick message to let an admin person know how appreciated they are.

Shiner...

Just a reminder not to play tag with your eyes closed. You're welcome!

Six years...

R.,

Six years to the day since I have seen your face, felt your skin.  Six years and two days since I have heard your voice. That day will forever be in my mind.  I remember coming around the corner and seeing that car in the driveway and just knowing that it was the day.

I remember the people who loved us.  I remember not offering them anything to eat or drink in our home - I don't think anybody ate or drank all day. We just sat. Cried.  Apologized.

You were my crutch.  I know it may not be the right thing to say, but without you I have done so much that I never would have done.  I felt safe with you and I was happy to just be with you.  Bettering myself wasn't on my mind.  Traveling, learning to drive, working out of the home - all things I never had even thought twice about.  I was that happy to be with you.

A day doesn't go by that I don't think about you. Sometimes I even feel like you are still here with us.  It has been so long now that I can't even imagine how our life would be if you were still here.  I never really got to know your parenting style, I never really learned your wishes for our son and decisions you would have made.  Most of the things I regret now involve communication.  Rather than hoping you would live, I should have prepared more for if you died.  I'm a Taurus, stubborn as ever, and I honestly believed you were going to beat cancer. 

Even up until the day before you died, even with hospice involved and all that awful medical equipment, I still believed you were going to be here today.

Our son is growing up so quickly.  The funny thing is, he is finally starting to look like you, which is a really good thing because I was having a hard time picturing my "identical twin" as a teenage boy.  This year has been the hardest so far of raising our son.  He is so smart and he is really starting to notice that he has a dad who can not be with us. 

This picture of M. really reminded me of you.

A few weeks ago he had a breakdown when I mentioned your name.  He was crying and said "don't even say that name because it makes me cry".  I never thought he would miss you so much after only knowing you for the first 15 months of his life.   It's amazing the things he does remember from such a young age. He will be okay.  We are beginning counseling again next weekend to help him understand more about death.  The last cycle we did was when he was four years old - a little too young to understand still. 

I can't say that these past six years have been easy.  I miss you.  I miss you more than anybody could ever know.   These past six years have included some of the most trying times in my life.  I have become someone I never imagined I would be.  However, I never regret the moment I met you - it's the six years of saying goodbye that have made me the person I am today.

Our lives will go on.  We will both grow older - without you, but you will forever be in our hearts.

-n.

Egg Hunting...

"You go ahead and read that package while I sit here and lick your Easter basket"

It all went off without a hitch.  Sort of.

Sure the Easter chocolate all melted in my car yesterday.  Sure I had to run out to the grocery store last night to pick up some mediocre replacements. 

In the end, everyone was happy and that's all that mattered. 

Even if his melted bunny looked like diarrhea.

NO...

I don't want one.

 I can't do it.

 Just think of picking up poop....

 and going for walks...even when it rains.

Just say no.

Forever torn...

When I go there, they still hold me like they never want to let go. 

I still push them away.

I'm still getting used to that feeling.  Holding on to someone forever. 

Something I still can't bring myself to do.

It hurts so much more when you expect them there forever and the next moment they are gone.

Before you even had a chance for forever to really begin.

Four years of bliss, six years of unhappiness. 

The decision seems easy, but it's really not. 

I am drawn to that spot. 

The cold, lonely spot with the sad trees and the smell of death.

Spring (?) is in the air...

I really don't want to jinx things.  The last time we pulled out the bikes we had more snow.  We had some beautiful weather this past weekend here in London town.  Last year at this time I had made a promise to go to the park every evening, just until the bugs start swarming around, I don't enjoy the bugs that come around at dusk.

Last night we closed the place down.  We were there (with the bugs) until the sun turned a dark red and faded into the horizon.  Then came the long walk home where I got an ear full of sore feet complaints.  Apparently playing tag with random children was a bad idea for him. 

It amazes me how easy it is for EVILBOY to approach people.  That is how life should be.  When you see someone having fun, it never hurts to ask if you can join them in their joys.  The worst that could happen is they say no (unless they get angry and punch your face?).  Maybe I should take notes from my seven year old.  Approaching people is sometimes pretty much okay. 

On Saturday I had a lot of fun with my friends doing a "diamond dash".  Even though we didn't win the $14,000 diamond ring, the people who did win it truly deserved every shiny carat of that ring, and the man proposed on stage. It was brilliant, I've never seen a proposal before. 

Even though it was a little sad that we didn't win, we still had a lot of fun and got to see a lot of really cool features of our city that we didn't know existed.  Plus I got a super workout (that I totally cancelled out by eating a mound of poutine)

Here I am a sweaty mess at the end of our race.  One of the tasks was to run a relay - with an empty can of beer in our hand.  It was the worst task ever.  Thanks to @JamesWilk for the (lovely) pic and to my super awesome partner @labtech67 who didn't kill me when I got some answers WRONG! 

Happy Monday friends!

Mean People Suck....

I have a fragile heart.  An incident that happened late last week was still bothering me eight days later.  I keep thinking how I could have changed the outcome, did I handle the situation properly, should I apologize again?

I held on to this dark cloud in my heart for eight days.  It haunted me at all hours of the day and I did lose sleep.

Long story short, I almost ran over my neighbour accidentally.  It was completely my fault.  Reversing the car out of a  tight parking spot, stopped when EVILBOY asked me a question and then went again without looking, figuring nobody would have stepped behind me in those 15 seconds. 

The woman involved in the incident, who was once friendly with me, was now waving her arms like a maniac and hopping around irately.  I apologized, as tears stung my eyes, and she just kept ranting on until I drove away.  With my proverbial tail between my legs and my heart in pieces.

I don't like when people are angry with me. I try to please everyone, even if just offering a smile or holding a door, making people happy always makes me feel a little better. 

I struggled with her reaction for days.  Quite honestly, I more "cut off her path" than almost ran her over.  Her reaction was quite shocking to me, especially after I apologized as sincerely as I could. 

A few days ago I remembered an incident I had with this same woman over the laundry room.  The laundry room on my floor was in use so I had to use the laundry room on her floor.  As I put my key in the door, this woman whipped open her door with laundry soap in her hand and an angry glare on her face.  I asked if she was about to do laundry and she huffed and replied "WELL I GUESS I'M NOT NOW AM I?".  I stepped aside and said she could do her laundry and that I would go down another floor.  To which she pushed past me without so much as a thank you. 

and now I realize that you can't please everyone. 

It's far too tiring and life is just way too short.  It's just too hard to try to make someone enjoy their life a little more when their arrogance and rudeness constantly gets in the way.  Incidents like this are not going to change who I am.  I will continue to try to make people smile, to try to make their day a little better. I know how awesome it feels when someone holds the elevator for me or helps me pick up my mail when I drop it.

I am not going to be walked all over either by someone who is only nice to me when it is convenient for them. 

I have learned my lesson. I will no longer be distracted when driving.  EVILBOY has to learn this too because I just keep thinking of the what ifs of this situation.  What if I didn't see her at all? What if I was going faster than 2 km/hr?  What if that was a KID? 

Am I sorry I almost ran her over?  Heck yes.  I am embarrassed and still a little sad about he situation. 

but when it comes down to making her enjoy her day a little more, or doing her any favours I guess the best I can do is tell her to go fly a kite.

Walking a mile in someone else's shoes...

EVILBOY asked begged me for a pair of Sketchers spray shoes.  Unfortunately at around $60 a pair they just were not something I found to be within our budget.

I tried to figure out a way, even offering my then six year old to use this purchase as one of his Christmas presents.  I just couldn't bring myself to put down that much money on a pair of shoes that would likely end up with holes in the toes from stopping his bike down a hill (this is a common shoe problem for us).

I started to browse online for these "spray shoes" and found that people were selling their used ones for almost as much as the brand new ones.  After shipping to Canada, I may as well go all the way and buy them new.

One day while browsing a thrift store on my lunch I happen to browse down the shoe aisle (something I rarely do because I am afraid of foot diseases).  There right in front of me was a pair of spray shoes, size 1 and in almost brand new condition.

The price?   A cool $2.99.

I almost died.  Suddenly foot diseases didn't matter as much to me.  I figured some athlete's foot spray can be no more than $10, even then I was saving a crapload of money!  My friend pointed out that kids rarely have foot diseases and my bargain was even more spectacular.  I saved a whole bunch of money and my child didn't catch a foot disease.

Suddenly I was hooked.  I found myself browsing every thrift store in the city and guess what?  I found another pair of spray shoes, this time for $1.99 in a size two.

EVILBOY has been enjoying his spray shoes ever since.  I am happy to report that he has no foot disease and that I have saved a lot of money on his footwear.


Every time I go into a thrift store I now start off in the shoe section looking for another pair of spray shoes.

My mom has even caught on to this trend and just last week brought him a pair of the light up Sketchers that he just had to have in size 3. 

www.skinnyscoop.com

Flooding...

This was the weekend of floods in my apartment.  I bought the cats a brand new automatic waterer.  There have been too many times I have found the cats like this:

because *somebody* forgot to refill their water dish. 

I was pretty proud of my little investment, that is until it somehow got knocked over and my dining room was flooded with cat water.  The whole time I mopped up the spill, first with a sponge mop and then with my favourite bath towel, I just prayed that the stinky cat water didn't dribble down to my downstairs neighbours. 

I quickly learned that this waterer was crap and I shall vow to return it at some point in my life when I feel like making a trip all the way out to that big fancy pet store.

The second flood came when EVILBOY decided to pour his own juice.  I was in the other room and I heard the spill followed quickly with "Don't worry, I will clean it!".  I don't know why I believed him, but I felt at ease with his spill cleaning ability. 

That is until later on when I went into the kitchen and my sock got stuck in a gooey mess.  Then when I opened the utensil drawer to find the plastic kid utensils floating, I kicked myself for believing him when he said he would clean it. 

I had to clean the entire utensil drawer.  It had even soaked down to the wood of the drawer.  The counter by then was a sticky mess.  It was awful!

EVILBOY has never been really destructive, even as a baby, I honestly can't think of anything that he has ruined.  I look at the website Shit My Kids Ruined and I am amazed at the destruction kids can cause.  I have been really lucky.

I think the worst thing I can remember that EVILBOY got into was his dirty diaper at nap time.  It happened once.  I won't go into details.  I do remember taking a picture of the destruction, you know for his baby scrapbook, but after some discussion, R. and I decided  to delete all evidence of that horrid event.

Other than the diaper incident, I can't really think of many other times he has intentionally ruined something, but I do have photo evidence of a few incidents:

[Guest Post] Mommy Stress Management...

I am so tired.  Not just a little sleepy, but a full-blown tired that envelopes me like a heavy blanket from my head to my toes.  The reason?  I’m a mom.  Whether a mom stays home with her kids or works outside of the home, she has a role that is all-encompassing and requires unbelievable amounts of energy and time.  I adore being a mother and wouldn’t change it for the world, but sometimes it can be exhausting and stressful.  

Moms devote so much time to meeting the needs of their families, they often forget to take time to de-stress and decompress.  Stress management is absolutely key to healthy living.  As the mother of small children, I find myself utilizing one of the four ways to manage stress.   

Four Ways Moms Can Manage Stress

Get Sleep
One of the simplest ways to recharge and unwind is to rest.  As a mom, it’s often hard to carve out adequate time for anything, let alone a nap.  If your child still naps, consider taking a nap when they nap.  If you work during the week, this can be done on the weekends.  Find a comfortable place and position and get some shut-eye.  It’s amazing how satisfying even a small amount of sleep can be.

Get Creative
A fun way to unwind and reconnect with oneself is to indulge in something creative. It can be painting, sewing, rearranging a room in your house or cooking something completely new and different.  Go ahead and tap into the right side of your brain for a little while.  You don’t have to be Martha Stewart to find an enjoyable and fun project that will take your mind off of the daily grind.

Get Moving
Walking, running, swimming, dancing - it’s all exercise, and it’s all good.  Get your blood pumping and your body moving. Working up a sweat helps the body to release toxins and cleanses your system.  Not only that, exercise releases endorphins - the hormones in your body that make you feel happy.  Simply find something you enjoy doing and commit at least 30 minutes to that activity each day.

Get Pampered
As a mom, especially a single mom, it is difficult to find time to yourself.  Whether it’s while the kids are in school or perhaps you leave them in the capable hands of a trusted friend or relative, consider taking some time to pamper yourself.   Indulge in a manicure or pedicure.  Schedule a massage at a local spa.  If you belong to a fitness center that has a sauna or hot tub, spend a few extra minutes relishing the quiet heat.  Allow yourself to be the focus, for a change, and enjoy it!

Moms, please don’t fall prey to stress beast.   Make time for yourself and find a way to unwind.  It will not just benefit you, but your children, too.  

Bio: Lisa Shoreland is currently a resident blogger at Go College, where recently she’s been researching parent plus loans as well as scholarship lottery programs. In her spare time, she enjoys creative writing and taking weekend trips with the kids.

(Thank you so much Lisa for your post)