My, What Big Teeth You Have...

I found it quite odd when two people commented on the size of EVILBOY's front teeth this past week.

Since two, completely unrelated, people have mentioned his front chompers, I have to believe that they are growing - and apparently they are huge.

I'm pretty sure having big teeth is a normal part of growing up. 

How could you not love a big, toothy grin?

Some friendly advice to save you the embarassment....

This isn't even the bad picture on the DSi - but it's bad enough!

Today I let EVILBOY bring his DSi to his before/after school program. 

Biggest mistake ever.

The thing about the Nintendo DSi is that it has a camera on it.  Some goofball over at Nintendo thought it would be a good idea to give children the ability to capture moments that nobody really wants to see.  Things such as the laundry folded up on the back of the couch, the dirty sink that hasn't been washed in days weeks, ten different pictures of EVILBOY's inner nostril, oh and let's not forget the best one of all, a candid shot of his mother sitting on the couch, texting on her phone, all five chins are present, wearing only an itty bitty tank top (sans bra) and little shorts.

I didn't even know a photo like this existed until EVILBOY's (very cute) daycare teacher told me he saw a very flattering picture of me on EVILBOY's DSi today.  The same daycare teacher that I will never be able to successfully flirt with again. 


Children are so charming.

Parents - before you let your child's DSi leave your home, I suggest you do a full investigation of the pictures stored on it or else you may never be able to look your daycare provider in the eyes ever again. I can honestly say that this was almost as embarrassing as the time I slipped in a fresh cow poop at the Royal Winter Fair.

Monday will surely be interesting.

Bullies.

The first time I was ever bullied was in grade two.  A red-haired boy named Laurant would always tackle me at recess to the ground and try to kiss me.  I am still traumatized.  I was never bullied again until I moved to a new school in grade eight.  The worst possible year to have to leave all your friends and join a new group is the last year of public school.  I made some lifelong friends that year, but I also made a lifelong enemy.  His name was John (I'm sorry I forget his last name, so I will use the last name I called him by that made me feel better when he teased me everyday for being ugly) Stinkytits. I hated John Stinkytits who would point out every little flaw about me.  Nobody could pinpoint things that were wrong better than John Stinkytits.  For some reason, I never looked at his ugly face with crooked pointy nose and greasy black hair with beady mouse eyes and pointed his flaws out to him.  At least my pimples could go away, his face, however, was an unfortunate mess.

All the times that John Stinkytits made fun of me could never equal up to the time I was made fun of by a group of girls in a field as I walked home, by myself.  They made fun of my Hypercolour t-shirt.  I loved that hand-me-down from my older cousin.  Even better was that it still changed colours. I don't know why it hurt so much when these girls laughed at something I liked to wear so much and made fun of the way I looked, but for some reason hearing it from a group of my peers, who were also girls, made it hurt so much more than anything John Stinkytits ever said.  It was then that I decided that I actually was ugly. I decided to stay in my room a lot more and be by myself.  I studied my face in the mirror many times, thinking of how I could change this or that.  I planned to grow up, get a good job and get a whole lot of plastic surgery to make everything better.  Then I would go on Maury on one of those "I used to be ugly" shows".  

I never had a boyfriend in high school.  I didn't go to my prom - or graduation.  I don't think I even talked to a boy in high school.

After high school, I was amazed when I met someone who told me I was beautiful - all the time.  I forgot about John Stinkytits and those nasty anti-Hypercolour girls for the whole time we were together.  Even now, I know that anything he said was just idiotic. I may not be the prettiest person, but I have a pretty decent life sometimes. My son thinks I am the coolest person alive.  I have people who love me and miss me everyday. 

I never expected my son to be bullied.

This is a whole other chapter.  Something that kind of threw  me for a loop and now all my feelings of being bullied are coming back as I feel sorry for my seven year old who has been bullied and now has some of the same insecurities that I had - only at a much younger age.

and it terrifies me.

One day last week I picked up EVILBOY and he was in a foul mood.  He had a full meltdown.  Somehow I just knew this wasn't about something trivial.  His tears were big and sloppy and he had a frown on his face that is rare to see on EVILBOY's face. I had to coax it out of him, but he eventually told me that one of the older boys in his after school program said "if you don't like EVILBOY, put up your hand" and everyone did - except for his best friend.  EVILBOY's feelings were not just hurt, they were crushed.  Something that sounds so trivial, really hurt his feelings and his ego took a major hit.

His after school program teacher is great. I spoke with him the next day about it and he gave EVILBOY a little boost in confidence saying how cool and awesome he was. EVILBOY looks up to his teacher completely so hearing this stuff brought a smile back to his face.  Even though the boy has been spoken to about his actions, I have a feeling this is not over.


All I can do is remained involved and love him.  I will watch for any changes in behaviour.  With him, it was very difficult to get this incident out of him.  He is the type that keeps things that hurt his feelings bottled up.  Other than that, I really don't know what else to tell him.  I never solved my bullying issues until I grew up, I do not want him to have to go through the same as I did.

Valentines Schmalentines...

It's not that I'm bitter (I totally am), it's just that I hate Valentine's Day.  It might also be that I stayed up way past my bedtime last night making 40 chocolate heart suckers for EVILBOY's class.

My hatred of this commercial holiday began when I was a young girl in elementary school.  My first boyfriend ever didn't get me a Valentine's Day present.  I was horrified.  How could I show my face again without having a present from my boyfriend.  I mean, he was pretty romantic.  One time he wrote our initials on the wall of the school in snow.  Seriously, one of the most romantic things anyone has ever done for me.  For some reason, I didn't even get one of those stupid little Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle cards he was giving out that year.

I later found myself scanning my bedroom for an item I could lie and say he gave to me.  I finally settled on a little miniature Pound Puppy dog - and then I realized how stupid Valentine's Day was. 

I was especially relieved when R. felt the same way.   No pressure, no expectations, it was just another day (and our bank account wasn't wiped out on flowers and an expensive dinner). It's not that he was never romantic, he was just spontaneous and romantic - and I loved it. A knock would come to the door and a dozen pink roses would be delivered or I would go out of town for a few days and come home to the entire house painted in the colours that I had picked out. 

-

Now that I am finished complaining about this holiday that is not really a holiday because it's just a big old cash grab, I want to share with you something I read on a calendar today:

"Une loterie d'amour, or "a drawing for love," was a popular Valentine's Day custom in 18th-century France.  Groups of unmarried people would gather in houses that faced each other (men in one, women in the other), and women would call out the names of the men with whom they wanted to "couple".  If men rejected ladies who chose them, the jilted women would then gather for a bonfire, where they would yell insults and burn images of the men who turned them down. This practice got so raucous that it was banned by the French government in 1776"

If we still had events like this, I would totally dig Valentine's Day.  Nothing beats shouting insults and burning crap. 

Happy Valentine's Day friends. I hope you are doing lots of making out and eating lots of chocolates.  Don't worry about me, I will be on the couch eating ice cream and watching "He's Just Not That Into You" for the 40th time with my cats.

_________________________

PS - It's not too late to send some pretty awesome e-cards like the ones above from someecards.com

Trouble...

When he touched my hand, My heart fluttered and I immediately wished I had put some hand cream on.

This is wrong.

So wrong.

Gym class is EVIL...

I always hated gym class.

1. because I was afraid my boobs would bounce in front of the boys while doing track and field
2. because this could happen:

 

 

This is what happens when you trip over your best friend. 
and land on your chin apparently.

I always dread getting the call from the school.  My heart skips five beats every time I see the school's name pop up on my caller ID.  Today the call was made by EVILBOY's gym teacher (who was also my gym teacher when I went to that school many years ago) who told me what happened and that he thought I should come and pick up my injured child who was waiting for me in the office, with a bunch of bloody kleenex stuck to his lip.  He ended the message with "I am sorry to bother you at work, I hope your day is going better than this".  Which I thought was really nice.

To be honest, I was never really sure if I should have brought him in for medical attention.  It looks really bad, but he is acting completely normal and eating chocolates and candies like a pro.We did end up seeing a doctor later in the afternoon and he said that everything would heal up nicely.

I think the best part of this whole ordeal was the notes that EVILBOY's class wrote for him while his face was bleeding in the office. 

Silly Bands make anyone feel better.  Also, I hope he feels "biter" tomorrow too!

The stork was a nice touch.  I also hope that EVILBOY can get better because a bruise goatee is probably not very cool when you get older.