I was diagnosed with Psoriasis many months ago.
I've never shared that here before because I am ashamed.
I am also one of the lucky 46% of Psoriasis sufferers who is mostly affected on the face.
As in - people stare at me when I go out. Blatantly stare at my face. I feel like they are judging me. Thinking I'm addicted to Meth or I am dirty and gross.
I hate my face. I am in pain constantly where the lesions are. They itch, crack, and sometimes even bleed.
As if my self-esteem wasn't already at bottom, here I am looking like Freddy Krueger on a daily basis.
I can't blame people for staring. It is horrific looking. My forehead and scalp are mostly affected, which can be covered by bangs. My eyebrows have lesions, around my eyes (just getting a new lesion under my eye) and around my nose. I also have a lovely "butterfly rash" across my cheeks.
I have tried every kind of medication, both prescription and over-the-counter. The home remedies have been killer but have had absolutely no effect. Apple Cider Vinegar is supposed to be great for Psoriasis but the two times I have tried it, it just made me smell really bad - which then made me more self conscious that people could smell my vinegar-soaked body.
My feelings are hurt easily by people who make comments. My niece wouldn't come to me in the pool this summer because of the "boo boos on my face". Someone exclaimed "you wear make-up?" when I said something about putting on cover-up. A neighbour blatantly pointed at my face and said "what's wrong with your skin?" - she's a crazy weirdo anyway, but it still hurt.
Last night was the first time in public where I could really feel the stares. Even though I try to cover up with make-up, when my lesions are in a really bad state, as they are now, people stare. I had taken EVILBOY to Wal-Mart to get him a new Beyblade he had been pining for. While we were there I could not get away from the stares. I started to feel panicked and we had to leave the store. Now it has came to the point where it is affecting my son.
I've had enough. I feel like I am being punished. Maybe it's for the time I called that girl moldy bread at Pathfinder camp when I was a kid. Maybe my ex-room mate who was a witch really did put that curse on me?
I really wish I could be one of those people who could go out without a care in the world, but instead I have kept me and my son inside on the first beautiful Saturday of October because I am still rattled from the stares last night. He doesn't deserve to deal with this.
I am throwing my hands up in the air and asking for help. If you have any remedies I may not have tried for Psoriasis, please share them with me. I have my first dermatologist appointment on October 17th and I am really hoping for a miracle after that.
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Hello..this is my blog. I bought this fancy theme and I don't know what to write here just yet. Maybe one day remind me I have to write something inspiring here?