Road Rage....I has it.



I come from a long line of road ragers.  My mother is the queen of the ragers of the road.  Her antics have resulted in many traffic tickets, and even a slight "arrest" in a grocery store one time.  I mean, it wasn't a full arrest because there were some issues with the police officer and yatta yatta....let's not get into this, in fact, I kind of never heard the whole story.

My mom married the king of road ragers who only had one leg. Their castle was on the side of a major highway north of Barrie, Ontario.  This was not a very good situation to be in as you had to merge onto a busy highway, which is very tricky when people don't merge over to let you in.  Not to mention it was nearly impossible on Sunday nights as the cottagers would return to the city and cause traffic jams that lasted for hours.  The king of road rage would handle such situations by waving his prosthetic leg out the window at his fellow drivers who had done him wrong.  This would be followed by "RIGHT!" in his thick British accent and a a rock in the driver's seat that eventually caused it to come loose from the floor.

They are not bad people.  They just can't handle the incompetence of bad drivers. I'm not defending their behaviour, but having road rage does not define who these people are.  Driving can be a very stressful situation, especially in poor weather conditions or in busy road conditions.

I have road rage.

It's not something I am proud of.  I am honestly a very nice person *usually*.  This is not something I am proud of, but if another driver does something that puts me in harm or is obnoxious, I have to call them on it.  The way I see it, I would want someone to tell me if I did something wrong.  Unfortunately, the way I see it and the way I call it are two completely different things.

When I get angry while driving, I tend to make up words.  These words are actually pretty effective and usually are made up like this: [censored] face, [censored] head, [censored] of [censored] [censored] [censored] bag. Usually the censored word is the first swear I can think of.

Sometimes I even use things about their car to insult them.  A taxi cut me off one day completely as we were coming up to a stop light.  The back of his window had "we now accept Interac" written across it in big orange letters.  I yelled out "You're going to be Interacting with my foot up your [censored]" and I laughed for the rest of the afternoon about it.

Because that was really funny.  I don't care if nobody else at work thought it was hilarious, I thought it was great.

Road rage is never a good habit to have though.  It's only a matter of time before someone you are raging at ends up being a psycho killer and may be carrying a gun or have giant meaty hands that are good at punching in faces who yell at them.

I am afraid of being a road rager now.

Also I have tendonitis from whamming on my horn so hard (okay maybe not from that, it's kind of a mystery how I actually got tendonitis, but I do know that it hurts like heck when I wail on my horn with my bad wrist).

I listen to soft music like Norah Jones and Ray LaMontagne on the way to work to calm my brain down and not think about calling people [censored] [censored] wipe with a [censored] [censored] face during my commute.

This has been working for me quite well.  My mornings have been quiet.  When someone does a stupid move, I mumble "oh fiddlesticks" and only give them stink eye.

This morning as I was driving to work in my bubble of peaceful music, this maniac woman in a soccer mom van with one of those big giant spaceship things on the roof cuts me right off and then slams on her brakes.  The thing is, there was absolutely no one behind me.  She could have waited two seconds to let me by before she started with her [censored] [censored] face tricks but for some reason she decided to ruin my peaceful bubble.

So tendonitis aside, I let her have the wail of my horn AND gave her the stink eye and I may have let a [censored] slip.

THEN she decides to get into the turning lane...only she doesn't get over into the turning lane, she drives between my lane and the turning lane going all of 10km/hr.

My peaceful bubble was burst.  I drove up beside this [censored] and honked again to get her attention where I then proceeded to raise my middle finger (which hurt my tendons quite a bit).  She looked at me like I had five heads, not having a clue what she had even done wrong in the first place.

(and then I realized that I was wearing my cat hat which made my road rage lose all credibility)


When I thought about it some more, what did that really solve.  She's still going to be stupid when she drives home.  She will probably be a bad driver for another few years before she causes an accident.  It's not really worth it to get all bent out of shape about other people's bad driving problems.  The best thing to do is to just get away from them.

I was going to tell a story about how I am bad at parking and how the obese guy with the breathing tube who is assigned the spot beside me

Anyway, I vow to be a nicer person on the road from now on.  Cat hat or not, I will be a pleasant driver who will no longer call people [censored] [censored] faces any more.

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ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Hello..this is my blog. I bought this fancy theme and I don't know what to write here just yet. Maybe one day remind me I have to write something inspiring here?

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