I think I may have had my first experience with a sleepwalker last night.

I was on the couch, eating chips that have been in the cupboard since last month, watching a re-run of The Big Bang Theory

(speaking of The Big Bang Theory, doesn't my cat look like Sheldon??)


I know, right?

Anyway, I was minding my business, nerd-crushing on Leonard when I heard "the pitter patter of little feet" coming down the hall.

Hearing the "pitter patter of little feet" coming down the hall is cute when it's a baby you are talking about.  when it is a six year old you are in for one of these four possible things:

1. a) I pissed the bed
    b) I shit the bed

2. I puked

3. I had a bad dream so now I have to sleep in your bed for a month (or until they stop playing that damn   Paranormal Activity 2 trailer during the day)

4. I just want to cry and moan in your face to test your sanity.

These were odd footsteps though.  They were very stompy and then would completely stop after a few steps.  They got really stompy again and then would stop over and over until I saw his bed-head appear from the shadows.

I watched intently, clutching my food-poisoned chips to my chest as if they would protect me from the demon that possessed my child.  I prayed to the god of stale Ruffles that it wasn't a demonic possession that I was dealing with here (I may have also prayed that it wasn't a 1b I was dealing with).

When I saw it was just EVILBOY walking around while he was sleeping. I was relieved.  I didn't know what to do though, he was asleep and walking.  My first reaction was to say NO (really?) point towards his room and tell him to get back to bed.

That did nothing.

I heard that you were never to wake a sleepwalker.  I don't really know why, perhaps I should research that.  I figured there was no harm in letting him wander around in his sleep, as long as he stayed away from the balcony.  I figured he may start cleaning up his toys or do some Riverdancing in his sleep or something entertaining.

I did not expect him to go into my dining room, pull down his pants and try to use my dining room chair as a toilet.

I screamed.  He screamed.  He ran to the bathroom.  I screamed. He peed and went back to bed peacefully (without washing his hands - apparently washing your hands after you pee is not important to a sleepwalker).

There was a lot of screaming, running and pissing going on.

Never wake a sleepwalker - unless he is about to piss all over your dining room chair.  

Not cool sleepwalker.  So not cool.

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Hello..this is my blog. I bought this fancy theme and I don't know what to write here just yet. Maybe one day remind me I have to write something inspiring here?


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