Keep your dental dam to yourself!

The dentist and I have a total love/hate relationship in which I mean she loves to take my money and I hate to see her stupid face pay her money to be free from pain.

I have somehow inherited soft tooth enamel from someone in my family, just like I inherited my mom's road rage and my dad's bubble butt. I can get a cavity if I breathe too deeply in a candy store.  Not really, but you get my point right?

I'm used to going to the dentist and having them tell me I have work to be done.  I see the look in the dentist's face and I see dollar signs in their eyeballs, or a new car or their kid's college tuition.  Boy am I in the wrong business.  I could never be a dentist though.  I would see some grossness in someone's mouth and probably puke it in.  Nobody wants to go to the pukey dentist.  That would be the worst thing ever.

Monday was my regular appointment where I had some cleaning to get done and an exam.  I have kind of been avoiding my dentist because the last time I went I had some problems with excessive bleeding while I was getting a filling.  Two and a half hours in the chair and they charged me for every minute of it.  It wasn't a happy dentist bill.  Plus I almost died.

Not really, but it was kind of scary.

I did manage to drag myself back in one time after that, not sure if I would die or not.  I seriously hugged EVILBOY a little longer on the way out that morning because I wasn't sure if I would make it.  Dentists make me kind of crazy nervous.

So you can probably imagine the look of surprise on my face when the (evil) dentist told me she would see me in six months.

Pardon?

Six months?

and that, my friends, meant I had no cavities.  Not a single one! Something a girl with soft enamel and a sweet tooth just doesn't hear often enough.

and I strutted out of that stinky office with my head held high all the way to Dairy Queen where I mowed down a banana split to celebrate.

I also may have celebrated with my friends Peanut Butter M&M's.  I probably should have stopped there.  I knew I was pushing my luck as I ate those two year old stale marshmallows from above the stove but I couldn't help myself.  I was like that caterpillar in that book that ate through all the pages.

of course I brushed for the whole two minutes after that.

and I even flossed.

The next day I went to dinner and a movie with a friend.  My dinner consisted of chicken that was harder than boulders and after I tried to eat it anyway (even my little plastic knife wouldn't cut through this crap) my mouth felt a burning/zinging feeling along the roof of my mouth.  It was pretty strange, but I thought nothing of it until we were getting settled into the movie and my face started throbbing all the way up to my eyes. I was pretty sure I broke my tooth on that hard chicken.

The night dragged on, I woke up every hour or so to  whine to myself about my tooth ache.  It was brutal.  I had never experienced so much pain in my mouth before and it seemed to be getting worse.

The next morning I called my dentist office as soon as they opened.  I was told to come in the next day at noon (and then I almost cried).  I explained the pain I was experiencing and how I wasn't able to eat, sleep, drink or even close my mouth on that side.  If they were to make me wait until the next day I could die of dehydration....DIE!!! Plus I was uncomfortable as hell and I was at my desk at work holding my face and moaning and my co-workers were hating me a lot.

Explaining and almost crying and refusing to stop talking about my problems totally worked because she told me to come in at 11am that same day.

I was in their office at 10:30 holding my face and moaning in their office as my co-workers had offered to hit my face with a shovel to knock the tooth out and I kind of figured they might not be kidding. Instead I held my face in the dentist's waiting room and moaning, quietly as to not scare the little kids that were waiting for their turn.  The thought crossed my mind that if these kids got in before me I would have to bite someone.  It wouldn't have turned out very well.

I had another x-ray and some strange sensitivity tests and found out that my tooth is DYING.  A part of my body is dying...at the dentist.  I somehow knew this would happen eventually.  This tooth in particular has a bit of history.  When I was a kid I had a cavity in this tooth, a really really deep cavity that rests just above the nerve.  The dentist filled this cavity and the filling did me well up until five years ago.  I can't remember experiencing any particular problems with this tooth, but the dentist found some reason to re-fill the tooth.  The tooth was fine for five years and then suddenly on Tuesday night, one day after a routine cleaning, it decided to unleash it's hell fury on my mouth. 

Now I have a decision to make.  Do I want to pay over $300 (after my benefits) to have a ROOT CANAL done or should I just yank the sucker out (for probably around $50).  The pain in the tooth is being caused by a nasty infection under the tooth so I am on antibiotics for a week which gives me an entire week to decide what to do about this (evil) tooth who I think I will call Grimey from now on.

One (major) part of me wants to just yank it out.  It's in the back so it's not visible when I smile, it has been a problem tooth for many years of my life with this deep filling in it and it is really close to the tooth next to it so I can see a cavity forming there in the future.

On the other hand it is my tooth.  Losing a tooth just seems like a downward hill I don't want to slip down.  I mean if I lose one tooth who's to say that I don't end up losing more in the future and end up looking like this guy:


Besides that, what if that is my important candy-chewing tooth and I can't eat M&M's anymore without it.  I just have a lot of apprehension about losing a tooth.

For the most part right now it is about the money.  EVILBOY (who was lucky enough to inherit my soft enamel and his father's stubbornness and facial hair) has surgery booked to do dental work which ended up costing me a left kidney, or just over $380 for those not familiar with organ prices.  I know $380 doesn't sound like much, but to me it is and I would totally sell my left kidney for $380, which is a pretty sweet deal I would think. 



I really don't have a definite answer right now.  So far I have heard that the root canal is not even guaranteed to work and that sometimes it has to be repeated two, sometimes three, times and eventually be pulled anyway.

The way I see it if I get the tooth pulled now, I could always go back and get some sweet grillz later on in life when I become a famous rapper (and grow a sweet mustache!)

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ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Hello..this is my blog. I bought this fancy theme and I don't know what to write here just yet. Maybe one day remind me I have to write something inspiring here?

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