I drove by our old house the other day.
The door was open.

A man was sitting on a wooden chair parked by the front door, smoking a cigarette in the same place you used to. I think that was our wooden chair, the one I left behind.  I wonder if he also found the piece of my heart I left behind?

or that piece of EVILBOY's playpen that I carelessly forgot in the crawlspace.

The kitchen is still yellow. I am still amazed that you knew exactly what yellow I dreamed of.  It was even more spectacular that I ever had imagined.

I was never really into surprises, but when you surprised me with that yellow I felt loved.  I felt happy and complete in our home.  Even though we didn't have it all, I sure felt like we did.

That weekend my family was throwing us a baby shower.  You stayed behind, and it never really crossed my mind that you had anything planned.  I was much too excited to see my family, and to eat cake.  I was really fat at that point and food was my weakness.

When I walked through the door after my trip, the smell of fresh paint still lingered.  You were on the couch, exhausted.  It didn't take much for you to reach your limit those days.  In fact, a few weeks after that you were in the hospital for your bone marrow transplant. The colours were perfect. The warm yellow kitchen and the pale living room and hallway.  I knew you didn't really agree with the purple, but you did it to make me happy. You painted our baby's room blue.  At the time we didn't know he was going to be a boy, but the blue you picked out was absolutely perfect either way.

Then there was the crib.  You bought our baby a crib and set it all up while I was out of town.  It was all just perfect.  I felt a little bad for not even thinking about a room for our baby.  I had plenty of other things on my mind, but once the room was set up I was in love with it.  It felt so perfect.  Your heart was in it and it didn't matter that it wasn't what I had in mind, it was just beautiful.

All these memories brought up from peering into a stranger's open door.

Funny how that works sometimes.

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Hello..this is my blog. I bought this fancy theme and I don't know what to write here just yet. Maybe one day remind me I have to write something inspiring here?


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