Let the phone calls and awkward Facebook wall postings begin...

I am now 29 years old.
I have been on earth for 29 years.  I've lived through events like poufy blouses, leg warmers, Richard Simmons' Sweatin`to the Oldies, blowing into Nintendo cartridges, New Kids on the Block, Crystal Pepsi,  spray cheese, Adam Sandler movies, Tom Cruise's turn from hotness to craziness, the Slap Chop, MySpace, Facebook, Twitter (love you!!) and now even Justin Bieber

This makes me wise(ish).

To be honest, 29 is such a milestone age for me.  I never wanted to be 29 and be in the position I am in life right now.  I wanted the whole house with white picket fence, the 2.5 kids, the soccer practices and secret drinking problem.  I wanted all of that and right now I am very far from it which makes it very hard to see the end of the tunnel.

(they wrote 'Mom' on the cake...which made me feel older, or like the queen or something)

There are a few things I would like to try and change about myself this year, most of which I probably won't get around to doing because 1) I didn't follow through with my promises last year 2) I am a taurus which makes me pretty stubborn and hard to change. 
  • This year I will turn 29 with hopes and dreams that being 29 won't be so bad (too late!)
  • I will be more of who I want to be and less of who others want me to be.
  • I will have more fun, be more flirty and stop saying "when I was 20..." because that makes me sound old and bitter.
  • I will be more open-minded, compassionate and I will honestly try to not hate humans as much, even ones who are complete assholes that should die and be reincarnated into turds, or like a toilet seat or a diaper.
  • I'm going to laugh a whole lot more, even that horrible uncontrollable choking laugh that makes my side hurt for a week.
  • I promise not to threaten to run over people anymore.  That is genuinely mean, and besides that I hear this is what some may refer to as a threat and I could end up in prison for my 30th birthday.
  • I will keep in touch.
  • I will stop obsessing (somewhat).
  • I will spend more time....
  • I will spend less time...
  • I will start going to bed earlier (because old people need more sleep).
  • I will try to stop being a mystery.
  • I will not worry about the small things and spend my entire days worrying about turning 30 instead.
  • I will start hanging out with older women so I am not the oldest in the group.  Here are some examples of older women who could be my friend (because they are cool):



CHER:
  • Cool
  • Probably knows how to ride motorcycles
  • Would be a hit at a karaoke bar


HELLO KITTY:
  • Smart
  • Cute
  • Has all kinds of wicked-cool merchandise!




SANDRA BULLOCK:
  • Down to earth
  • Probably likes girly movies and popcorn (maybe)
  • Does that cute `snort`` when she laughs in her movies

 DAVID DUCHOVNY:
  • Extremely sexy
  • Not really a woman
  • Extremely sexy
I look forward to "turning 29" for many years to come... 

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ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Hello..this is my blog. I bought this fancy theme and I don't know what to write here just yet. Maybe one day remind me I have to write something inspiring here?

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