BEWARE of the house centre!


When I was in kindergarten there was a house centre.

I know you're fully aware of what I'm talking about here.

Only when I was a kid, the house centre was actually a ginormous house in the corner of the classroom, fully enclosed with one little window that had curtains that CLOSED.  Completely private, and kindergarden kids took full advantage of this area to 1. Pick their noses and eat it 2. Eat glue 3. Poop/pee their pants or 4. Kiss each other. So basically the house centre in the mid 80's was equivalent to that of a grungy bar on half price beer night or a Michael Buble concert, your choice. Either way, it was bad news.

Sometime over the years, the teachers became enlightened to the goings on of the house centre and by the time EVILBOY went to daycare, the house centre had come crumbling down.  Now it is a pretty harmless "area" with a fake stove and fridge and real cereal boxes that the teachers have taped up so the kids can pretend to pour out the contents.  We all know how much fun pretend pouring food is.  Not nearly as fun as picking noses, eating glue or boogers, pooping or peeing your pants or making out is though.

The teachers watch the house centre like a hawk, because they know that is where the bad things happen - or so I thought.

The other day I picked up EVILBOY from daycare.  When I got there, the teacher pulled me aside and said she wanted to report an incident to me. Turns out, another boy asked EVILBOY to show him his wiener in the house centre, to which my kid totally showed him. 

My kid showed another kid his "dee dee" without  even an ounce of hesitation. 

...because this kid told him he would give him an Oreo cookie if he showed him. 

The kid used the oldest trick in the book, and EVILBOY fell for it!

This put me in the very awkward situation of having to have a serious discussion about penises with my son.  In normal circumstances, I would defer such a speech on to his father, seeing as that is impossible, the wiener talk was my responsibility. 

It went a little something like this:

ME: It is not okay to show people your wiener
HIM: Okay.
ME:: and you should tell a grown up if anybody asks you to show it to them
HIM: Okay. I'm going to play Mario now.
ME (shouting after him as he ran away): AND STAY OUT OF THE HOUSE CENTRE!

Awkward penis talk avoided - for now. 

Although I have been giving him quizzes every couple days just to be sure he understands. 

The scariest part was that he didn't have any realization that this was wrong.  He just saw the bigger picture (the Oreo cookie) and did as he was told. 

This could have been a much worse situation, and with him not knowing anything was wrong, I could have never even had known what went on. I always thought he was shy and wouldn't even think of showing his private parts to anybody, so this really took me by surprise.

I encourage you all to speak with your children about private parts.  I assumed that he would never do such a thing so we never had a sit down talk about it, so he honestly didn't understand it was wrong. Even if you think they are kind of young, just a quick little conversation to remind them of their privacy - and to never trust kids who make promises with Oreo cookies.

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ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Hello..this is my blog. I bought this fancy theme and I don't know what to write here just yet. Maybe one day remind me I have to write something inspiring here?

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