Day 26: The Hannah Montana Complex....



Hannah Montana and I are like the same person.  Not including the time I got my bangs cut like hers, I mean like we are the same person, but not in looks, or age and I'm pretty sure my daddy isn't Robbie Ray, but you never know.  My mom did meet him a couple times *shrug*

What I am really trying to get at here is that I have a secret life.  I am a rockstar in one life and dull single mother who works all day long, all the while working on ideas for her rock star life.

That is me, in a nutshell.

Someone asked me a really great question the other day in my Formspring.me asking me why I blogged.  I did answer the question honestly, but I really think I can elaborate on it a little more.

I began blogging a long time ago.  I became hooked on it after getting my first comment.  Realizing someone was there listening to me and offering support and advice, I couldn't stop. I blogged when things were going good, I blogged when things were bad, I blogged when I was devastated, the whole time having support of strangers.  People I've never met in my entire life offering advice and words of encouragement.  Blogging became therapy for me.

When I thought I didn't need therapy anymore, I changed it up a bit and began blogging about my photography (If you travel back into the early archives here you will find some of those photography posts).  At the time, I kept a private blog where I let out my emotions.  I mean it was some pretty deep stuff I wrote about.

The two separate blogs didn't represent myself very well (not to mention I didn't take the greatest pics) so again I changed it up and merged the two together and I decided to write and take pictures.  I love being a blogger, and even though most of the times I struggle for things to write about, I just love writing about anything.  I like to share things, I'm a presenter - but in real life I am ridiculously shy.

I have never shared this blog with my family, my friends or my co-workers, with the exception of a very small few who have discovered it.  Each time someone discovers my blog I get butterflies.  Shy girl FREAKS out.  First I think "did I write anything bad about them?" Which is usually never the case, but I can't help but think that for some reason. 

Mostly I am embarrassed.  Because this is not really real life me.  This is Internet me...evilflu.   I would never admit to someone that I am depressed, although I'm fairly certain they all know by now, I just choose to ignore that they would think that, or maybe they don't, I don't know and that's how I like it to be. 

There have been a few cases where people I know have stopped by.  At first I'm not really okay with it.  I get really embarrassed and feel like taking the whole site down just so they can't read my feelings, but I can't stop now. 

This is my therapy.  This is my space (not to be confused with MySpace which is a totally creepy site).  This is where I tell you I like Hello Kitty and taking pictures.  This is where I tell you that I have crushes on bus drivers and air conditioning men and this is where I talk about being a single mom and what it's like to want to stab your eyeballs out when your kid throws a tantrum in the store.

So to answer your question, 
I blog because I like to and because it makes me happy.
I blog because this is how I really feel and this is a place where I'm not afraid to feel it.
I blog because I have a terrible memory (yes, sadly I use this as a memory tool)
I blog because I like Internet people.  You all are friendly and kind and you are always there.


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ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Hello..this is my blog. I bought this fancy theme and I don't know what to write here just yet. Maybe one day remind me I have to write something inspiring here?

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