IKEA: Fail!

My mom bought Mason this little chair and foot stool a while back...I guess there comes a time when the foot stool screams, "I've had enough! I'm out!"

Octomom Does Dallas?

Don't get me started on this one! I've been keeping my lips sealed on this one but I do have to speak my mind on this news story I came across the other day.

Octomom Gets $1 Million Porn Offer From Vivid Entertainment

...Now we all know that this woman needs help (in many ways-*ahem*)but is this really the right thing to do? I mean $1 Million would help a bit, but when you consider the amount of food, diapers, transportation, housing, education....everything that this woman is going to have to shell out for all of her children, $1 Million doesn't even skim the surface.

To add insult to injury, they offered her dental and healthcare for her family to do a series of videos.

When I thought about it some more, I realized what they are doing! They are just trying to get this wacky poor young woman to star in films that parody Angelina Jolie movies! Movies such as:
-Womb Raider
-Kung Fu Pecker
-Mr. & Mrs. Smith Get It On
-The Boner Collector

...just to name a few.

Goatboy?

Goatboy made an appearance on American Idol last night!!!
http://www.americanidol.com/videos/season_8/performances/matt_giraud_viva_la_vida

...wow David Duchovny is even hot as a goat. What is wrong with me?????

Wordless Wednesday: February 25

Wordless Wednesday: frozen eskimo version. Waiting for a friend to pick me up under Pizza Hut's hut in the rain.

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Public Service Announcement...

Dear horny teenagers,

Please note....

If you see a house like this in the dark scary forest at Crystal Lake:

(PS - Buddy should start locking his door when he goes out on a killing rampage)...

Do not enter it!

Also if you see a man like this:

and he is chasing you like this:

It is not a good idea to offer him a hockey stick to go with his outfit.

...and also it is not a good idea to go back to his house to look at this (for the second time):

Especially when you saw him dragging dead bodies there just a few hours earlier.

It is very dumb and it will make you look like this:

It is also not a good idea to go skinny dipping in Crystal Lake:

Especially when Jason apparantly took up some archery lessons sometime in the past 5 years.

Also please note that a man who has his mom's skeleton head in a hole in his wall is not date-able...even if you like the big creepy mysterious ones.

(OMG do you guys remember this game??? SCAAAARY!!)

From your friend,

EVILFLU.

One Minute Writer: February 24, 2009

You've just won an Academy Award. What will you say in your acceptance speech?

I would just like to thank the academy (who are those guys anyway?) and the person who let me be in a movie and the people who put up with me probably flubbing my lines on a daily basis. I want to thank my son, Mason for being the best kid ever *wave to the camera, cry and blow kisses*.

After that I will walk off the stage but go the wrong way so those strange people that stand in the background have to assist me off the stage. After all that I might just go and make out with Ryan Seacrest or something because I would have to drink at least 5 fishbowl drinks before I would get the nerve to get up on that stage.

Dreams (update)...

Liam's group is now at 478,891 members...but guess what? Ellen's group shot up to 600,000 so this little guy is now raising the bar and wants to get 600,000 members in his group! Anything is possible and this little guy is determined.

So if you haven't yet and you are on Facebook (as are all the old boyfriends I like to stalk) then please stop by his group and join in to help.

Thanks a bunch!

This Post Is Brought To You By The Letter "U"...

Ren over at The Land of Ren assigned me the letter U in this super-fun blogging meme. The deal is where you simply (or not so simply if you got the letter U!! - Kidding!) list your favourite things that begin with that letter.

If you would like a letter just leave me a comment and I will try to figure out how to randomly assign you one aside from having Mason pick one ...which in turn could come up with some crazy spaceman name or something, you know how 5 year olds are.

So without further ado, here are my favourite words that begin with U (hey I'm a rhymer!)....

Uncle Rico:

Who doesn't love Uncle Rico? That pesty uncle bugs the pants off Napoleon Dynamite (ew nasty mental image over here!). I mean who doesn't love a man who throws a steak at a nerd on a bike or says things like "Back in '82, I used to be able to throw a pigskin a quarter mile." or "How much you wanna make a bet I can throw a football over them mountains?... Yeah... Coach woulda put me in fourth quarter, we would've been state champions. No doubt. No doubt in my mind." or even "Kip, I reckon... you know a lot about... cyberspace? You ever come across anything... like time travel?". Uncle Rico is my hero.

Ugg Boots:

They are leaky as all heck and no match for a Canadian Winter, but damn they look cute and are comfy as all heck. Love them.

UFO's:

Okay, So I don't really like UFO's all that much, in fact I find them a little frightening and people who believe in them religiously a little annoying....

but they do remind me of one thing....

BOOM CHICKA WOW WOWWWWWWW.... Fox Mulder! *

U Can't Touch This:

Okay this was like my all-time favourite song in grade 6 (maybe 7?)....and I can still kick ass on Singstar with this song.

Utensils:

Can't live without 'em. How can you not love utensils...unless your a caveman or you like to go to Medieval Times a lot.

Umpires:

but only if they look like this.... *

Underwear:

Especially comfy, cute girly ones....and these ones are okay I guess...*

The Undertaker:

He was my favourite wrestler...mostly because you just knew he was gonna kick someone's ass...and I went through a phase in my life where it was my goal to meet him and hang out. I'm sure he'd love to hang out with me . I'd be all like Undertaker, is that your real name? Wanna go to Build A Bear and make some awesome stuffys or go to Claire's and shop for Hello Kitty stuffs...then we can paint our nails and make little Hello Kitty heads on them and dance around while watching 13 Going on 30 in our underwear (see above) and dance around in Tinkerbell slippers. I'm sure he'd loooove that.

The Ugly Duckling:

This story makes me wanna cry every time I read it...Srsly. It's just so sad, then so happy...it's like the bi-polar bedtime story.

Ultrasound Pictures:

I'm not an expert by any means on these things, but I definitely gotta say that mine is the coolest. My kid flashed us the peace sign...if you look reaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaally closely you can totally see it in this picture too.

...and then there was my second ultrasound (where I almost peed my pants on the way there only to get yelled at by a lady with a moustache for being late and for my bladder being too full) where he looked like The Great Gazoo which in turn made me hold in my tears until I got home and once I walked in the door I ran to my room and cried on my bed for hours until R. came and found me and asked me what was wrong. I was so distraught, I sobbed out "OUR BABY HAS NO ELBOWS". He tried to assure me that the baby did have elbows, to be honest I didn't believe him and I was so sure he was going to come out with little stick arms with hands on the ends.

Srsly...do you see elbows up in there?? NOPE!

Umbrellas: (NOT!!)

I bet you all thought I was going to say I liked umbrellas...tricked you!! I actually hate umbrellas. Every umbrella I have ever owned has either a)gotten lost or b) fallen apart/poked me in the head with metal pieces/got stuck in my hair. This one time, my sister and I were taking Mason to an appointment. It started to pour ridiculous rain and I was frustrated as all heck. I pulled out the umbrella and it got all messed up so I threw it down in anger on someone's front lawn. They came to the window and banged on it and yelled at me to pick it up. I was so shocked someone was there that I started running and never looked back.

*I am not a pervert. Thank you ;)

Hearing Test

See, I knew he could physically hear me... He just chooses not to listen. My diagnosis? Boy-itis. It's a common disease found only in the male species. Symptoms are 1) llistener acts invisible to avoid cleaning his room or putting down the nintendo ds

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Crazy Neighbourhood Spiderman

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It's About To Get Femanistic All Up In Here!

Dear Men,

This is 2009, and yes, I just happen to be a woman (maybe even a lady sometimes) and well guess what, I can wear pants. I can work outside of the home and not have to rub your stinkin rotten feet when you get home AND I can even vote (even though I choose not to because politicians are all scary liars). I can belch and curse and if I had balls you bet I would be scratching them in public just like you do...so why is it you guys think I can't buy a car?

Yes I am carless, after a long day of menisms, I have had it. If it is meant to be then it will happen, but at this point I just want to go to that car lot, take my beautiful car and drive away Thelma and Louise style (minus the whole going over the cliff thing - that would be a long drive to find a cliff and I don't think I have enough $$ for gas that far).

I just love how everybody has told me to "take a man with you to look at the car". Heck, even the mechanic (who was a man - with a very funny name that I choose not to disclose incase I ever run into him again) told me to bring a man with me and that it is so unfortunate that car salesmen take advantage of young women (and old people) like me.

SOOOO...apparently I am a flake looking to drive a cute car who knows dick all. I am the flake who took the car to the mechanic to see exactly what it needed to be done so I could have the upper hand in wheeling and dealing with these burglars used car salesmen. I went in there fired up, shoving the paperwork under his nose and demanding he do the work and because I am a woman (?) he told me the car would cost $500 more.

So umm...he wants me to pay $500 for repairs on a car (that wouldn't even total $500 for the entire repair bill anywhere else) when I haven't even drove the car by myself yet!!! I am paying for some other flake who decided to never get a tune up on this thing. I am not stupid, I'm not a doormat and I certainly do not have an extra $500 for this dickhead because he thinks I'm just a stupid girl. I walked out of there over $500 and he lost a customer and my heart is broken because I fell in love with that car after spending the entire day with it.

Not to worry, I have some other plans...and unfortunately they include bringing a man there with me to make a deal - another plan was to have that guy kicked in the balls repeatedly - however that is very unethical and could get me arrested so I think plan A it is (as sad as that is and how much it stinks to have to rely on a man).

I drowned my sorrows with my co-workers at dinner tonight with a bunch of fishbowl-sized drinks of mango fruity girly drinks (afterall, I'm not enough of a man to drink beer) and got really drunk and told them how the thought crossed my mind to ask the car salesman if he would just sell it to me for the original price if I flashed him (sadly enough it did cross my mind). I think that would make it even, no? Maybe it was the pigtails I wore today...I KNEW they were a bad idea.

Chick Magnet

Can you tell how much he loves this shirt? I'm not gonna lie...bribery is key in this house.

Wouldn't it be cool if he really was a "chick magnet". Imagine all the cute fuzzy little chicks we could have around.

Coming Soon To A Road Near You...

I am a bad driver. There I said it. I wouldn't say I'm bad as in neglectful, because I do drive with my hands at 10 and 2 (wait is that where they are suposed to go?) and I watch the road like an eagle, but I'm just so nervous I make stupid mistakes. Although nobody has beeped at me or given me the finger yet so that's good right?

I've been doing the lessons, and they have been *gulp* okay. Like the one lesson where I forgot how to turn the car so it stays on the right side of the road. The lesson the other day was interesting, the one where I hit the patch of ice and I said it was the instructor's fault that the car almost turned completely around...

Me: What happened?
Him: The road is icy!
Me: Yeah but why?
Him: Because it snowed and nobody has driven down this street yet?
Me: Well then why are we driving down it? I'm never going to drive down this street ever again.
Him: How do you know that?
Me: Because I hate this street.

Unfortunately, I forget where this street is located so if you are in London and your car spins around like a skater at the ice capades, please let me know where that was because I totally forget. I really don't think he took me seriously. I have no need to go down that icy street...ever again!

Driving is a whole new thing to me, I never wanted to drive because I grew up driving in cars with crazy people *ahem* parents *ahem* and I never wanted to be followed home by anyone like them. Not to mention I didn't need to drive. The problem now is that I have to pay for Mason to ride the bus - and I'm a cheapskate so that just doesn't fly with me anymore.

I had a lesson on Wednesday and I thought it went pretty well. I did a proper turn...oh like 3/5 times (which I thought was pretty cool!) and I did a complete stop each time and I almost felt ready to take my road test so I asked the instructor to book it for the begining of March - and he kind of laughed a bit and said nervously "well I could, but do you think you could practice driving a bit more first". I kind of laughed it off, but I was hurt!! Maybe this just isn't something I can be good at - but he does state a good point. I have only driven in a car for 8 hours in my whole entire life. Those 8 hours are a week apart each so I kind of forget things and I could really get more comfortable behind the wheel if I practiced a bit more consistently.

SO I am buying my car...now I know you think I'm crazy - I mean I just said I can't drive. Some of you may even be e-mailing me right now asking what times I plan to drive on the road - but honestly I am going to do my best not to run over/into 1)People 2) Dogs 3) Wild Animals. Squirrels are free game. Just kidding!! I honestly think this is the only way I can get good at this...and it's scary as all heck and you guys are going to miss all my characters of the bus - but this is what needs to be done.

I went and had a lunch affair with my new car yesterday (to be named soon) and was so much fun!! My friend test drove it for me (apparently drivers who suck like me or who are drooling like a Basset Hound are not allowed behind the wheel). We had lots of fun cruising around. When we drove up beside another Beetle I kind of had a little dilemma. I wondered if there was some Beetle club where the owners wave to eachother or punch the person beside them or something. Since I just met this girl who I went with and we have to work with eachother everyday I decided to go for the wave...unfortunately the other people were Beetle snobs and didn't wave back. I just made up that Beetle Club thing...if there really is one please let me know!

...I leave you now with e-mail that was sent around the office about me the other day. The girl swears it wasn't about me, but it also happened to be sent on the day I went driving and made the car go spinning around.

Bed and Breakfast?

The thing about these days is that sometimes you just have to let them go off and do their own thing. Sometimes that includes letting them watch Scooby Doo and The Vampires ("pampires") a couple times before bed. I don't know why I haven't seriously considered this sleeping at the table thing... It would make things just so much easier in the morning.

Meet Junior...

Junior...or maybe it's JR (as in Who Shot JR?). Anyway he's been officially dubbed Junior now so I guess that's his name. As I was saying, this little guy joined our family a week ago (tomorrow). A lovely girl that I work with gave him to Mason as a pet, which was insanely nice of her since he came with the whole aisle of PetSmart. Seriously, this little guy even uses a litter box...AND it has a litter scooper.

Plus his cage should be on Cribs...I swear! It's like a hamster mansion! Let's go over the details shall we? Our main foyer has a beautiful soft aspen bedding, a spectacular food dish and a remarkable salt lick. In the back left corner you will find the washroom, but feel free to poop wherever since the bedding will take care of all that mess for you when your owner comes and cleans it all up each weekend. To the right you will find the twisty slide that leads up to your built in hamster ball (oh yes) and to the left is the tunnel up to your hideout. Follow the tubes on your right to go down to the second level of your crib **look in mah fridgeeeeee**. You will find a hanging hamster hut, a loud plastic wheel that drives your owner batty at 3am and a plastic igloo..oh and let's not forget the big wooden log that looks like a tu--, *ahem* as I was saying, his cage is something to be envious of.

Mason is obsessed with this creature...well he was until this creature decided to bite him. You see the first time he bit him, Mason thought it was hilarious because he bit his nail. The second time was because he smelled like Rocky Road Granola Bar and Junior was craving some Rocky Road! I'm trying to explain that it was all an unfortunate accident, but Mason is a little peeved. He thought they were best buds. I'm sure he'll come around.

Until then, Junior and I have become best buds. Sure he's furry and wakes me up at 3am, but he is way cool when he shoves 4 big peanuts in his cheeks. I bet if he were a human he would drink a lot of beer and show off his food-storing cheeks. Okay, maybe not but you've gotta see this guy shove peanut foods in his mouth...it's amazing!!

Wordless Wednesday

Just a bit more reminiscing this week...

Dreams...

We all have dreams. Heck, mine is to be a Disney princess and live in Cinderella's castle and have mice and birds make my clothes.

In all honesty though, how dull would our lives be if we didn't have some kind of dream. Something to strive for, and if it happens, it happens and if not - well life goes on. Now imagine you are 8 years old and are fighting a very serious illness. All of a sudden, your dreams don't seem so crazy. Your dreams become your passion. Something that helps you through the pain and hard times and when people come to help you achieve your dreams, it makes you feel so loved and not alone.

Meet Liam. He is eight years old, fighting the battle of his life against leukemia - and he has a dream. Liam's dream is to meet Ellen Degeneres and be interviewed on her talk show. Little Liam has had a hard battle, he says that watching Ellen helped him get through some rough times in his battle and he would love to be a guest on her show.

His goal is to get 500,000 members to join his Facebook group (500,000 is how many Ellen has on her fan page) and so far he is at approx. 289,000. So please, show this little guy that he is not alone and that dreams can come true and join his Facebook group at http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=61945374257

iPhone Fart App Problems....

http://venturebeat.com/2009/02/13/fart-fight-one-iphone-fart-app-takes-another-to-court/

Battle of the iPhone Fart Apps. Come on? Really? "You're fart sounds just like mine!!" "...wha??"

So this one time... I was in love.

Believe it or not, I used to be happy. I'm sure if you search my blog you will find I probably say that a lot. I was young, I had just moved back to the city that I love and I was having the time of my life. I lived in the back apartment of the house I grew up with and I was just so - problem-free. I loved it and so many times I wish I could go back, but then I think about how much I love my child and how far I've come since then and blah blah blah.

I was working full-time in a call centre, not ideal but the job was a little fun, competitive and I had some awesome gay friends. I developed a crush on an emo guy at work (who had no idea I was alive, and was probably uber-gay like all the other men that worked there - true story!). I followed this guy everywhere he went hoping that he would notice me...which he never did...and I was cute - he was so gay!

Anyway I had a room mate who was a really nice person, but I think she might have been peeing in bottles and throwing them into the garbage, still she was nice. This friend brought over a guy who said he wanted to meet me. A very nice guesture, no? Well it would have been, had she not decided to bring him over after I drank a bunch of Nyquil and felt like I was dying. I was passed out completely and woken up from a "coma" to see a guy sitting beside my bed in a chair. For some reason I was not alarmed, I was at a stupid part of my life where nothing really scared me. I had such a sheltered life that the thought of murders sitting on chairs beside my bed watching me sleep didn't really seem too strange to me. She was there too and thought it was hilarious that I was awaken from my self-induced coma to have them sitting beside my bed. Apparently this guy was dying to meet me. So we had a brief meeting where we realized that we had actually met a year before when his brother offered to piggy-back me down the street and my friend and I gave them a fake number. Can you say awkward? That was R. My R., always so determined and stubborn.

The weeks after that were so awkward and strange. He was always so nice to me and he asked me on a date, like a true gentleman would, every single day. The only problem, I was still after emo-boy and R. was a little older than I was (8 years - I think, oh god I can't even remember). He just came on so strong, and I honestly was a little put off by it. I knew he was sick, he had cancer and had a Pic line in his arm, but that never seemed to be a problem to me. I never took it seriously, and I never thought he would die - those things didn't happen to me - ever.

One day he was sent home from work because his Pic line bled, it was infected pretty badly and he had to go to the hospital to have it checked out. He refused to go because he didn't want to wait in the ER to see a doctor for what could be a wait that would take hours. I made him a deal, if he went then I would go out for dinner with him one time. We waited...and it was a wait that took hours, just as he predicted it would be. We talked for hours and hours while we waited for a doctor to take a look at his arm. When 3am rolled around we had both had enough of the wait. R. got up suddenly, went and got some bandages and gauze and wrapped up his arm and said "let's go".

I was stunned. If it would have been me, I would have been in that bed wimpering and asking for ice chips and warm blankets hours ago but here he was storming out of the ER and taking supplies with him. Then as he was walking me home he asked me where we were getting chinese from...he meant that night. He was so intense - so radical and I was starting to fall for him. A few days later he went away camping for a week. While he was gone I realized that I missed him so much. I thought about him so much that it drove me crazy and that is when I realized I had fallen for him. I had to take a second job just to keep my mind from going crazy.

When he came back, he didn't pay as much attention to me anymore. I didn't really know what was going on, or who changed, but something wasn't right. All of a sudden the tables were turned, and let me tell you it didn't feel nice at all.

On Canada Day I stopped moping around long enough to go with my friends to see fireworks at the park. R. was there with his brother, who I hadn't seen since the piggy-back incident. R. happened to mention that he was taking his brother out that night to a bar - and before he could go into detail I told him I wanted to go. I remember the look he gave me, it was a look of awkwardness and of shock. I think mostly because he didn't get to finish his sentence - they were going to a strip bar.

It didn't matter if we were going to the moon, I was obsessed with him and I would have followed him anywhere at that point. I was obviously super-nervous, so I drank a lot, and got drunk a lot. R. walked me to my door, and instead of walking up the steps, I turned around and sat down and we were face-to-face...and I kissed him. It was probably one of those ew-I'm-kissing-a-drunk-chick kisses, but to me it was the best kiss in the world. He slept on my couch that night - and never left. He told me later on that he actually was interested in another girl after I turned him down so many times - which makes me think that maybe that's why I am going to be alone forever now - I'm just too stubborn to ever be in love again - although it was nice, and sometimes I miss it - a lot.

I found this picture on an old negative a couple days after he died. I got it printed on the day of his funeral. Excuse my big fat face - I ate poutine, a lot.

I meant to share this for Valentine's Day but I am a big-time procrastinator so here it is.

How did you meet your soul mate? I could use a few tips.

Insurance...

I never totally understood insurance and where they get their ideas from. For example, I wear glasses and contacts. I get $250 every 2 years to buy new glasses/contacts. The $250 covers one year of contacts - that's it! So that's a kick in the pants, but even more of a kick in the pants is the fact that if I were a man I would get $2,500/year for erectile dysfunction. It's hardly fair. Since when is getting it up more important than being able to, oh I don't know - SEE!!

Now that I'm shopping for car insurance, I'm a little weary about which plan I pick. I don't want to pick a plan that approves dentures for my car or something but leaves me hanging if I get in an accident, so I'm really reading the fine print...which is a little scary because this is what I found...

Missiles? For real? Since when did I move to Iraq? I've been alive for 27 years and I'm not sure I've ever seen a missile before so what makes them think that here - in Canada - a missile is going to go zooming by my window and hit my currently non-existant car.

Better go..I just saw this zoom past my window...

Valentines Smalentines...

Well I was going to share with you a list of MTV's Top Ten Valentines Make-Out Songs with you guys and go and try to enjoy this miserable day but to be honest, the list was awful so I am going to speak my mind of this terrible day - and it probably won't be pretty.

I'm not saying I hate love and romance and all that jazz - I just hate the idea of people cashing in on it. Really, where did Valentine's Day start anyway? What is the reason for shelling out a small fortune or your first born to buy your lover a gift? Why do big companies feel the need to send me a Valentine's Day Sale e-mail starting right after New Years? Me - the girl who has been single for almost 4 years now. The girl who hasn't been on a date in YEARS.

First off let me recap my Valentines Days for you. I used to love getting the Valentine's Day cards in elementary school. Popples, Care Bears, He-Man, I loved them all! It was so exciting to get Valentines from your little friends. Fast forward to seventh grade - my first boyfriend ever and I was so excited for Valentine's Day that year. What would he get me, I bet you're all on the edge of your seat just waiting to find out, well don't be because I got nothing. My friends had boyfriends too and they all got something, but I didn't and I was devastated. My little grade seven life was over, well until I had a great idea! I picked out a little stuffed dog from my stuffed animal collection (grade 7 - hello!) and pretended that is what he got for me. So that was my first Valentine's Day FAIL. Most definitely was not the last either.

Shortly after that, we moved to a new city. Starting grade 8 with all new friends was tough. Valentine's all of a sudden became a popularity contest. It wasn't as cute anymore where everybody got a card for everyone in the class, all of a sudden it was you get cards from those who care - which in Grade 8, starting a new school, was very few people. High school was even worse, all of a sudden it wasn't cool to give out Valentine's cards anymore, instead you now had to pay a dollar to send your friends a chocogram which was a little card and a chocolate sucker. So if you could imagine how many cards I didn't get in grade 8 when they were cheap little pieces of paper - to think that someone would spend $1 to send me a Valentine's chocogram was ridiculous. I think I got one out of pity one year from my best friend.

I think that is when I really started to hate Valentine's Day - and it all just went downhill from there. When R and I were dating, we never celebrated Valentine's Day and I loved it. We both felt the same way. I think the most romantic thing we did was order a pizza. We didn't have much money, and to both feel the same way about such a commercial holiday was just - comfortable. After he died, it just got worse because now I was alone and I had people pitying me, inviting me on their Valentine's dates etc. Nobody understood why I hated this holiday and they all thought it was because I was bitter and alone - which is not true at all. So here I am, alone again on Valentine's Day, celebrating only for Mason. I think our plans for today will be to grocery shop and maybe we'll order a pizza...you know, for tradition.

However, I don't want this to be a pity post, I don't want to bring down your day so to try and understand exactly what we are celebrating here, I am going to do a little Valentine's Day research.

Who is St. Valentine?

St. Valentine was a priest who lived in Rome during the third century. At that time it was discovered that young men who were single were much better soldiers than those who were married (what with all the nagging sister wives at home etc.) so he abolished marriage. Well St. Valentine was a strong believer in marriage so he secretly married lovers. Emperor Claudius II learned of this and sent St. Valentine off to jail.

Romantic that he was, St. Valentine fell in love with a young girl, who was believed to be the jailor's daughter and decided to write her a letter, signing it off with "From your valentine". The next day he was beheaded, on February 14, 269. We celebrate Valentine as a symbol of love and celebrate his romantic life.

Some Valentine's Day Facts:

(from http://www.history.com/ - my new official favourite web site for facts)

• There are 188 Million Valentine's Day cards exchanged annually
• 50% of all Valentine's Day cards are purchased 6 days prior to the big day
• There are 119 single men (never married, widowed or divorced) in their 20's for every 100 single women of the same age. Really? Where are they?
• 2.2 million marraiges are performed in the US annually. That is 6,000 a day!

So everyone, enjoy your Valentine's Day. Think of the remarkable St. Valentine and enjoy your flowers, cards and romantic dinners. I will be fine...I have the greatest little man in my life and we are going to enjoy a heart-shaped pizza together tonight and watch Lady and the Tramp or some other romantic Disney movie. Life is good.

Story of my life....

*sigh*

To say he's smitten would be an understatement

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Keep Your Germs To Yourself: How To Avoid The Flu Bug

I should have gotten that flu shot. You know, the one I made Mason get but I skipped out on because I'm a big huge chicken who is afraid of needles.

This is how I felt for an entire week (...and still it's off and on):

Here are a few pointers to help you stay clean from the flu bug:

1. If you get the vaccine, it is recommended you get it before the holiday season (October/early November). During the holidays it is probably a definite thing to get smooched all over by your old Aunt Maude - unless she's crotchity, then not so much. Even still, think of all the contact you will be having during this time of year - best to get vaccinated before you visit with family/friends.
2. Hands Off! Don't touch your eyes, inner nose (for all you nose pickers out there!) or bite your nails. Those are some sure ways to allow the flu bug access into your system as these are the main routes the virus takes to enter your system. For the record - I did not get the flu from picking my nose....thank you very much :P
3. Disinfect shared surfaces. Doorknobs, telephones, keyboards etc. These all can become contaminated very easily so disinfect regularly to avoid flu bugs.
4. Use a good handwashing technique. Rub your hands together for at least 15 seconds, producing a good lather. Scrub in between your fingers, take off your rings, clean under your fingernails and even the back of your hand and up your wrist. For children, or adults who like to have fun, singing a song such as "Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star" will help you to time your hand washing - Adults, make sure you sing it to yourself, especially in public washrooms so people don't think you're crazy.
5. An apple a day...well not really, but keeping yourself healthy will help your immune system to stay strong which in turn helps to keep the flu bugs away.

Sources:
WebMD.com
Fightflu.ca

What a cute little Wordle...

Make your own!

Fiery sky

The sky is looking a little fireballish this evening

Uploaded by www.cellspin.net

My new love...

Mon Cherie,

I dream about you all day long. I tremble in anticipation just thinking of grasping your firm wheel and driving (probably not that well, mind you) all over with the wind through my hair (when the weather is nicer of course) and music playing on your super-hot CD system I saw you were packin. You are so beautiful, so shiny and you seem to have a permanent smile etched into your hood.

Alas, people say we shouldn't be together. You see, they tell me you will break my heart (or my head off in an accident- just sayin') and that your maintenance costs will kill me. I battle with myself everyday abou this. I really like my head, and I do kind of need it...two people said it would fall off....mom and grandma (either they rehearsed that or they know something I don't). Not to mention you do cost a pretty penny, and the man who is selling you seems to be a little shady - it was the Sopranos poster in his office that kind of turned me off.

But what to do...I can't stop thinking about you. I dream about you and even though I have never driven you, I think about it all the time. I just can't picture myself with another car...oh how I love you and I would even give you a pretty name if you were mine....oh the indecisions!!

Things I learned about tantrums...

Mason had a tantrum last week that was actually a little scary at times. I mean, he went all exorcist on me...and I know you are wondering why, well it was because I deprived him of childhood fun wouldn't let him take a toy to daycare. I am not one to handle stressful situations very well...and unfortunately nervous laughter usually erupts at some point. Well this happened, and it made things worse...wayyyy worse.

All ended well with him earning a trip to the daycare office and me storming out of there like a bat out of hell but by the end of the day he was back to his normal self...though I thought I may have seen his head spin right around in complete circles 2-3 times and he had this strange deep voice...

In all honesty though, he is a very good kid, these temper tantrums are few and far between, but this one was just so intense. It was on my mind all day long, so I jotted down a few things I learned about my child the creeper through these tantrums:

• It is not okay to find screaming and arm flailing hysterical. The laughing makes "the creeper" angrier and more likely to punch you.
• Promising to ground a creeperforever is not going to stop him from punching you.
• Believe it or not, a punch from an angry creeper can actually hurt, even through a winter coat - or at least he likes to think so.
• Screaming as loud as you possibly can probably will wake up the entire neighbourhood and in turn, they will probably glare at you through open curtains. Just sayin.
• A creeper in mid-tantrum will take any chance he can get to make you look like a child abductor all the way to the bus stop - including screaming "let me go" and "I want my mommy" at the top of his lungs. Umm..he's mine...I swear, just look at the resemblence...

• Getting to the bus stop will take four times longer when the person you are reluctantly dragging behind you will break free and run back home 3-4 times.
• Getting a screaming, flailing creeper on a bus is not as bad as you think - it's getting him off the bus where the problem lies. Twenty pairs of glaring eyes on you as he grabs on to each and every grab bar on the way out the bus door...which also has a grab bar on it. Why the hell are there so many grab bars on a bus at times like these???
• Washing the footprint off your black dress pants where the creeper kicked you is not as easy as you may think. That foot print stayed on my leg all day long and was pointed out to me about 325 times. Thanks creeper.
• That creepers will throw a fit in the middle of the busiest street in London as you are crossing. Nice try...it almost worked...whatever you were trying to accomplish that is - if your goal was getting us squashed under a Mack truck.
• Angry creepers who were dragged off the road will chase you to punch you again...which is a good tactic to get him to chase you right into the daycare. Worked like a charm.
• Daycare directors are pretty good at distracting angry creepers with the temptation of office work (ooooh).
• Angry creepers do, in fact, miss their Mamas when they leave and will cling to their leg which leaves Mamas confused because angry creeper just spent the last 30 minutes trying to punch her. Almost made her want to punch the creeper back at that moment and wondered if creeper was up to something.
• Creeper just wanted mom, mom just wanted to go to work...but mom couldn't spend the whole day without calling to check on the creeper - who was happily playing trains and fighting with his classmates.
• Angry creeper turned back into Mason when I picked him up at daycare. Goodbye creeper!

First word!!

Look! He spelled his very first word all on his own without any help....and it wasn't a swear word!!

Me = Proud

Coming out of hibernation...

I swear if I see one snowflake fall from the sky this week I am going to bawl my eyes out forever...I mean it.













(no hat...no mitts....LOVE IT!)

Kicking Winter's @ss

My favourite word...

I could go on and on all day, but I think the awkwardness of this video really wouldn't allow for any more awkward....it's all awkwarded out people!! ;)


I changed the video over to Youtube...not sure if that fixed the problem though :/

This won't end well...

Mason was given this balloon animal on the bus today by a clown(?) unfortunately balloon animals on the list of prohibited items at daycare...right up there with knives and hand grenades so this little creature has been in my purse all day.

Uploaded by www.cellspin.net

Wordless Wednesday 02/04/09 - Sick Edition

I'm not even sure how old I was here...but this is my absolute favourite baby picture of me. I look just like Mason...only strangely more delicate and girly...maybe it's the "pink" background.

Tuesday Toot: Kindergarden

What was my biggest accomplishment today?
Registering Mason for Kindergarden. School...for this September *gulp*
That was HARD. This is my baby we're talking about here. The same little guy who told me a boy in his daycare class was a big bastard....the same little guy who plays "muscle fights" with his toy wrestlers (who have some pretty colourful language themselves). My child whose grandmother told him to hit people in the face if they are mean to him. I can sense a suspension in his future somewhere.

Not to mention the fact that the secretary of the school recognized his last name and asked if he was related to his cousin...I had to admit it...I'm still not sure if that was a good thing.

So let's look at the positives to this all. It is a really great school which is very involved in the commmunity. In fact, this is the same school I went to from grades 2-7 and some of my best memories are of this school...and to brag a little bit more, a painting my class did is still hanging in the school. I remembered the part I painted...the orange shoes. I was so creative. Orange shoes in the early
90's..who would have thought?

Now the next step is to make sure he gets accepted to the new daycare for before/after school care or I am going to have a pretty miserable year of missing my lunch everyday to pick up my kid at school to drop him off at daycare - not convenient at all.

Another good thing...bring on the back to school shopping!!!