You know times are tough when Dumbledore has to get a second job.

 Me - 7 months old

 There is just something magical about mall Santas.   I mean, you really have to be a good person to be a mall Santa.  You have to be old, preferably with a white beard/white eyebrows and have a whole lot of patience for the hundreds, if not thousands, of kids that come along, and possibly pee, on your lap.  You have to love children, you have to be a good actor and it helps if you don't smell like beef and cheese.   It also helps if you're not a pedophile, because that is just all kinds of wrong.

My family loves mall Santas.

It's like some sort of tradition.  We don't have too many Christmas traditions in my family other than opening one present on Christmas Eve, serving gravy from "the barfing bunny" (who is now lost! *sniff*) and one member of the family unit becoming so drunk at another family member's house on Christmas Eve that he/she passes out and has to be carried up the stairs wrapped in a blanket and out to the car by like ten other family members and then once we get home realize that we can't lift tubbo family member out of the car so he/she spends the night in the car and wakes up the next morning and barfs in a bucket by the front door while us kids open our presents - which usually consisted of cards of money.  Good times.

Another tradition would be having people over for Christmas Eve.  We did that fairly often and one of my favourite things that I remember about Christmas was having all this company in our house and going to bed with them still having fun downstairs.  I know, it's weird. 
One thing us kids never skipped out on at Christmas time was a visit with the mall Santa.


Some kids cry, bite, kick, punch, pull beards or piss on his lap.  Not us.  We were so eager to sit on that potential pedophile fat guy's lap and always cooperated for our annual Santa picture. 

It wasn't just Santa either.  If there was some creepy old dude dressed up as a character, my mom would dish out the cash to get my picture taken with it.  Even the creepy Easter bunny at Eatons.

Eventually as I got older, the Santa visits faded out.  All of a sudden it just wasn't so cool to be on his lap.  One year I was sick and my friends went out and sat on his lap for me.  It was so nice of them.  I wish I could have been in that picture, but I wouldn't have fit in there anyway.

I think it was around that time that I stopped going to see Santa.  Just like many old Christmas traditions in my family, the mall Santa visits faded away and I grew up.

and then I had a baby.

He became the most photographed child that my family had ever seen, so of course I had to start the mall Santa tradition all over again.  Our actual first encounter with Santa didn't go so well.  He wasn't dressed properly, and he cried.  Imagine that, my child crying on Santa's lap.  We couldn't leave without a picture though, so this happened:
 Yes, I realize I look like a bingo lady here.  The truth is I wasn't planning on getting my picture taken that day  - so be nice!

Maybe he just wasn't feeling the vibe from that Santa because a little while later we got our official first Santa pic:
and you guessed it, my kid was not safe from the creepy Easter bunny:

 The next year he was excited to see Santa:
(but I think he was mostly excited for the free candy).

Then he actually started to get excited to see Santa.  It was pretty cute how he tried to butt in line and got jealous of all the other kids sitting on this guy's lap:
...and the next year I guess I forgot to buy a holiday sweater because he ended up with the same one (mom fail!)
Then in 2008 we were in Florida for our annual picture.  Nothing says Christmas like sitting on Santa's lap in a pair of shorts:

The shorts thing didn't sit very well with me, so we got a more traditional shot as well:

 This year I had a bit of a dilemma.  I actually doubted the Santa tradition.  The malls have been crazy lately, my level of irritability was at a high after a lady ran over my ankles in The Superstore today and I was really not in the mood to pay out big bucks for one picture - BUT it is tradition.  Besides, check out how awesome this Santa is:
I've found Dumbledore!!!!! He's alive and well at the mall posing as Santa!

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ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Hello..this is my blog. I bought this fancy theme and I don't know what to write here just yet. Maybe one day remind me I have to write something inspiring here?

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