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Mason ended up with a huge bag of candy this year.  Bless his little soul, the boy treats his treats as if each wondrous morsel was worth a million dollars, or a million Hello Kittys, whichever is more valuable to you. 

See! Look how heavy his bag was getting!

This makes it very hard for people *ahem* me to steal candy from his precious stash.  He guards it very similarly to that of the Wicked Witch in the Wizard of Oz who had those creepy flying monkeys.  Only instead of flying monkeys he uses the whiny voice.  The whiny voice that makes mothers cringe and run for a strawberry wine cooler (juuuust kidding, *ahem* sort of). 

The whiny voice is much more effective against mothers than a creepy flying monkey, so the kid is smart in that way.  Plus you don't have to feed a whiny voice monkey food or dodge flying poop balls tossed at your head by a whiny voice. 

Stealing candy was so much easier when he was a baby.  He rarely fought back, it was precious. 
My little skunk!

Stealing candy now has become more of an art.  An art that includes mind tricks, reasoning, bribery and good old prying each finger that grasps on to that Twix bar (hehe....umm that didn't happen - kind of).  From what I have learned from our five years of trick or treating (omg five!!) is that this doesn't get any easier.  In fact, next year I will probably have to set up some device that includes a fishing rod, some double-sided tape and a high-powered magnet to get some delicious chocolate.  Either that or I will just have to trick or treat myself.  I'm getting too old for this stuff!

This year it was a crisis.  So I sat down with my Hello Kitty notebook and devised an evil plan to swindle chocolate from my child (which sounds a whole lot worse than it actually is, he doesn't need it!).  When the little light bulb above my head flickered I came up with the brilliant evil plan to have an excuse for each candy bar as to why he shouldn't eat it (ala Oatmeal Crisp style!) and now I am sharing it with all of you.

Coffee Crisp - This has coffee in it. Coffee is only for grown-ups because it makes you stop growing and stains your teeth. 

Aero - Mason, this chocolate has gone bad.  See all the bubbles, that's not good for you

Oh Henry - Oh Henry? More like Oh huge spider because that's what I see just over there .  Once he turns his head to look, you should then hide the chocolate.  Eating the chocolate bar at this crucial point is not an option because he will totally be able to tell once he realizes the spider thing was a decoy and you will not have the time to enjoy the sweetness that is Oh Henry.

Mars - This has nougat in it.  I don't even know what nougat is or where it comes from, but since the chocolate bar is called Mars I can only assume it is an alien dessert.  If you eat it, there is a chance you could turn into an alien.

Kit Kat - The red wrapper means it's spicy (if all else fails, the spicy trick always works).

Skittles - You can't eat these!  They could all bunch up and get stuck in your throat and make you choke! (okay maybe I sort of think this one is true)

Reese's Pieces - Do you know what the pieces in Reese's Pieces are?  I'm going to let you in on a secret, parents made these so that kids would eat their veggies.  Yep you heard me right, the pieces are in fact little pieces of brussel sprouts, onions and broccoli.  Besides ET ate these and he was an alien (see Mars)

Baby Ruth - Mine! I called it!  (I had to revert back to toddler rules to get this one).  I had never tried a Baby Ruth before (oh how deprived we are in Canada when it comes to chocolate bars!) so I just had to have it.

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Hello..this is my blog. I bought this fancy theme and I don't know what to write here just yet. Maybe one day remind me I have to write something inspiring here?


  1. Wait, does Coffee Crisp actually have coffee in it? Or are you just supposed to eat it with coffee?

    Now you've got me confused and wanting to throw candy at you.