FEAR...

What are you afraid of?  The dark? Monsters? Zombies? Vampires? Peaches?

If you frequent this blog, then you will probably know that I'm pretty much afraid of everything. With Halloween coming up very quickly, I thought it might be a good idea to document the kind of stuff that scares my pants off (insert disturbing mental picture here).

Vincent Price:
I don't know about your guys, but every time I see this guy in a movie or even hear his voice I get chills down my spine.  He's like the creepy uncle that kids run away from, although I really doubt he was anybody's uncle because he was pretty scary (don't ask, just trust me on this one).  EDIT: Okay so apparently he was married three times, so maybe he could have been somebody's uncle.  This information blows my mind.

Also, as I was saving his picture from my trusty picture source (*ahem* Google), my computer was all like "$#%^ THAT" and crashed.  Even my computer was scared.

The Hilarious House of Frightenstein:
A little spin-off of Vincent Price (who is not the only reason I am scared to death of this show) is this Canadian CHILDREN'S television series which I actually enjoyed watching when I was a wee one.  There is just something about this show that I am absolutely terrified of.  I don't know what it is, it's not just Vincent Price, it's all the characters who are actually all played by the same guy, so maybe it's him.  I don't know, if you are scared of creepy things, do not watch this show. 

I'm even having a hard time looking at the pictures from this show.  See what I do for you guys! It just blows my mind that this show was geared towards children. 

The 70's:
I hate the 70's.  The browns and oranges, the vans of weed, the hippies.  I hate every little bit of this era. If you were born in the 70's, I'm sorry, I probably hate you because you wore 70's baby clothes and had one of those baby walker things that was floraly orange and brown.  The worst thing of the 70's: The couches.  You know the ones I'm talking about.  The ones with houses and windmills printed on them (WTF?) and wooden arms that would catch your ass every once in a while and leave you with a huge bruise.  You know what kind of couch I'm talking about! The ones with the matching coffee table that had two seats on it?  My friend had one a few years ago...hated that thing!  

Plus this came from the 70's.  I hate this picture. It's yucky.

Tiny Tim:
One time back in the early 2000's I was looking at rotten.com as all grade 11 students did at my school.  I somehow came across a picture of Tiny Tim...dead in his coffin.  It totally ruined the Tiptoe Through the Tulips song for me because whenever it comes on I get instant creepified.
Which is unfortunate because there is a television commercial on right now with that song on it.  Makes me look like a loser when I cover my ears and leave the room.

Michael Jackson's Thriller Video:
This really should have been higher on the list.  I have never been able to watch this whole music video, or even the song, without wanting to run away and cry.  Now that Michael Jackson has passed away, the video has become 80 times more creepier because it could totally happen.  He could come back as a zombie.  You can laugh all you want now, but when it actually happens just remember who called it first.  Vincent Price is also in this video.  Do you see a trend going on here?

That's about 10 minutes and 51 seconds of pure terror for me. 

Night of the Living Dead (1990):
Sticking with the zombie theme, this movie scared the s**t out of me.  I'm not gonna lie.  I was 9 years old when it came out and I remember watching it, being absolutely terrified, but not wanting to look like a dork.  Almost 20 years later, I will admit that I was terrified of this movie. 

Red Beards:

Freddy Krueger:
This is such a hard one for me to admit.  You see, Freddy always reminded me of my grandpa.  They looked similar (don't laugh, it's true), they had the same sort of personality (only I don't think my grandpa murdered people with a claw) and they sort of dressed the same.  I loved my grandpa dearly, not so much Freddy.  I remember seeing the first movie, I was young, probably under ten years old.  Again, I was terrified, but put on a brave face (to be cool) and I had an epiphany while watching Freddy kill the poor unfortunate sleepers.  I decided to start "cheering" for Freddy, that way if he ever did become real, he would remember that I was on his side and not kill me.  It was a total win. 
Then I saw him under my grandma's bed one time and it was game over.  That guy is a big bag of creep! That's my grandpa's hand and boot behind me in that picture.  Can you see the resemblance?

My Great Grandparents:
I will admit it, I didn't know them very well, but I do remember being very against going to visit them.  Their house smelt like old people.  Plus everybody said my great grandma was  witch, and when she died there were spells and potions in her basement (from what I hear anyway).  One time she gave me a  barbie doll that was actually a toilet roll cover.  She handed me the doll and I then proceeded to throw up all over the doll and her kitchen floor.  Coincidence? I think not!

The Dark:
I was never afraid of the dark until R. died.  In fact, I sort of liked the dark, now I can't stand it.  It took me months before I could sleep with the lights off and years to be able to sleep without the television on.  I seem to be getting better, but I still like to have "quick access" to a light.

Jesus Pictures:
Don't get mad.  They freak me out.  I always feel like they are watching me.  Please don't think I'm some sort of devil worshiper or something, that's not it at all.  I just avoid these pictures if I can.  You will probably never see one of these pictures in my home. Pictures of Jesus in grilled cheese sandwiches do not count.  I think those are pretty awesome.
Bugs:
I hate all kinds of bugs, even butterflies.  Ladybugs, caterpillars, scorpions, spiders, I hate them all.  I used to like caterpillars, until  some jackass told me caterpillars eat dead bodies.  I used to like ladybugs until I heard they bite. 


German Sheppard:
Hate them a lot, except police dog German Sheppards, they are kind of cool, but other German Sheppards are mean.  Ever since that one bit my bum while I was on a swing that one time, I hate them all and avoid them at all costs.  I guess German Sheppard puppies are cute - NO! What am I saying? They are scary. 

Not even The Littlest Hobo is exempt (even though he has a totally awesome theme song!)

3:00AM:
I was informed that 3:00am is when the ghosts come out.  Now whenever I wake up at this time I am convinced there is a ghost in my room.  I can't remember who told me that, but I think I want to punch their face.  This happens about once every few months where I will wake up at that time and freak myself out so badly that I cannot fall back to sleep.  So whoever told me that, I thank you, but not really because I really want to punch your face.

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ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Hello..this is my blog. I bought this fancy theme and I don't know what to write here just yet. Maybe one day remind me I have to write something inspiring here?

2 comments:

  1. OMG, I was just writing about scary stuff too, and I tried to upload a scary ghost picture, an my computer crashed too! We're being haunted by the same computer ghost!
    <p>
    I'm totally with you on Hilarious House of Frightenstein. Just looking at that picture is making my heart beat a little faster in my chest. So damn creepy. And I didn't realize it was all the same guy until like 2 months ago when I saw it on TV because it's somehow still on all the time.

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  2. Are you serious? That just creeped me out even more!! The ghosts are on to us...so they are sabotaging our computers as payback for trying to prove they exist to the world, or something like that. I don't know. I'm tired haha

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