Stay-At-Home Parents...this one's for you!

Moustache mask? I must have!!!

We have the plague swine flu a common cold, complete with boogers, sinus pain and a sore throat to top off the germy awesomeness. Every time I get sick, I try to pinpoint who the germ-spreading culprit is, not that it eases the symptoms, but it is somewhat comforting to me to know whose germs have turned my nasal cavity into a fountain of snot.

Most often it is a daycare kid, but this time I think the snot culprit is the cashier at Silvercity. I went to see The Final Destination on Sunday, paid a ridiculous amount of money to see a movie in 3D...but that is besides the point. The cashier was very obviously sick, complete with a scratchy voice and major snot fountain and trademark red nostrils. She wiped her hand on her nose and passed me my movie ticket. I took it by the very tip of the corner and Purell'd the hell out of my hands. Unfortunately I got a little frisky and couldn't help but make out with a picture of Bradley Cooper on a magazine. I can only assume that snot bag lady made out with the same magazine, because here I am four days later, a snot-producing zombie, for lack of better description.

Stay-At-Home Parents, I promise I didn't forget this post was for you. I did not intend to go into so much snot detail, but I need you to know that I feel crappy. You know, so you guys will feel sympathy for me. If you really want to know how I feel, I am willing to send you a picture of Bradley Cooper that I made out with and mail it to you. All you have to do is make out with the picture too and you can be germ-tastic just like me! What's that? You'll think about it? What a good friend you are!

As I sit here, typing this with one hand on my now germ-infested keyboard, my Vicks inhaler shoved in my left nostril and sucking on a Extra Strength Halls, something came to mind. We have a doctor's appointment on Tuesday and unless Mason and I get rid of these germs quick, we will be MASKED. Have you been masked before? It's terrible! I mean, you already have a hard enough time breathing when you have a cold, and then they slap a 7-layer paper mask on your face and it's like slowly smothering your face. Not to mention they are never on schedule so you usually sit there for an hour with a stupid mask on your face, breathing in your own germs. Not only that, but when you are wearing a mask, the other patients waiting look at you like you have leprosy or the plague. Nobody wants to sit near you, people STARE atyou like you are Hannibal Lecter and you need to wear that mask to prevent yourself from eating their liver on a slice of toast. I know the importance of it, I KNOW, afterall I am trained as one of the doctor's receptionists that we all love to hate. I would much rather stay home if I'm sick than have to wear that mask.

Last time Mason had a doctor appointment he was quietly playing on the floor and he "cleared his throat". Nurse Ratched was out there right away, giving me stink eye and a lecture on having to wear a mask. He definitely was not sick, I had brought him in for a swollen finger, but she wouldn't have any of it, and for the next 45 minutes I alone fought King Kong himself, all the while holding a paper mask over his disease-infested face. The doctor checked him out, and he was perfectly healthy. This incident just adds to my mask annoyance.

As I was saying, we are riddled with germs in this house and I felt like being a nice person and missing work in order to not spread booger disease (outstanding citizen, I tell ya!). I only wish the Silvercity had done the same thing. Besides, I think daycare would have had a problem with me dropping off my junior booger fountain, so we stayed home.

Let me tell you, I have not had a day off in ages, and I was EXCITED. I thought of all the stuff I needed to do around the house, including an afternoon nap, toenail paintings (carnival pink would be nice!)and Mount Dirty Clothes was about to erupt so that could have used some attention.

What I didn't factor in was Mason. I forgot that kids have to eat three meals a day, imagine that! I also forgot that they want to be entertained constantly, even when they are booger fountains. Let's not forget the fact that THEY MAKE MESSES ALL DAY LONG.

Stay-At-Home Parents, I don't think the world gives you enough respect. Your job is HARD. Cleaning up after kids, cooking meals, errands, paying bills, answering telemarketing calls from vacuum companies - this is all hard work! There have been many times when I have been at work, having a really crappy day, and I think of how much I wish I could have been a Stay-At-Home Parent because I would rather be sitting in front of the TV eating bon-bons (what are bon-bons anyway?) and catching up on the latest Maury Povich episode, but it's not like that at all.

Mason kept me on my toes all day long, and I didn't even get a chance to have my afternoon nap.
Cooking, cleaning, errands, entertaining, educating, making sure everybody leaves the house wearing pants - all very hard, and important tasks. Now imagine having to do them with no sick days. So stay-at-homers, hats off to you because after my sick day yesterday, I definitely could use a vacation day!

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ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Hello..this is my blog. I bought this fancy theme and I don't know what to write here just yet. Maybe one day remind me I have to write something inspiring here?

3 comments:

  1. Thank YOU! i was ust saying this same thing to my friend today. as you know i stay at home with 2 monsters ALL DAY EVERYDAY! and yes im so over it, id rather be at work thanks.

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  2. Hope you feel better real soon!!!

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  3. "I only wish the Silvercity had done the same thing".

    They do. But the theatre management should know better not to let her work. Of course, the employee should have some responsibility as well.

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