Archive Mondays: May 6, 2003


May 6, 2003 (R. and I had a huge fight in front of his mother about his dog at her house. It was huge to the point he told me he wanted me out of the house but when I went to leave he stopped me. I guess we were both huge drama queens so when we bumped heads it was major. I just thought this part was pretty funny about Ri. and his girlfriend...I can't believe I felt that way!):

All of a sudden I feel like I've grown up overnight and this is my kick out the door into adulthood. I can't be a kid anymore. I can't act like an immature person because I'm a woman now. Ri. came over with what appeared to be his girlfriend and she looks younger than me...that bothers me. I don't want to sit at dinner and have her at the table. Me not being the young, cute girlfriend, now I'm the big fat old girlfriend nag who whines about the dog in front of the mother in law. I don't like her. I don't like that she gets the attention I used to get when R. and I started dating. I hate that he doesn't even want to kiss me's me doing all the kissing. When did that happen? I went from a girl who hated affection from men and now I crave it more than anything in the world.

You know, it's not entirely his fault. It's me. All along I've been telling people how much it's not my fault but it is. I need attention or I turn into a spiteful old hag. He's got to know this but I don't know how to tell him. He does have his downfalls but I make them worse. I bring out the worse in him when I get in one of my moods. I need a job. I need money. I need to be beautiful again. I'm in need right now and I hate when I'm down like this.

I need to be happy again...that's all. It will all be better then

I just want to be happy...again.

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Hello..this is my blog. I bought this fancy theme and I don't know what to write here just yet. Maybe one day remind me I have to write something inspiring here?


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