Parenting is not always perfect...

but sometimes you really want it to seem that way. Eating out at a fancy restaurant, company outings, in a library, at an appointment, these are all times when you want people to look at your family and think "wow, they really are perfect".

For me, this time happens always at daycare. No parent wants the daycare teachers to see them fail! To the child, the daycare teacher is like a big giant bag of fun. The daycare teacher plays with them, gives them hugs when their parents abandon them and has a plethora of crayons, coloured macaroni and construction paper. The parents are seen as the evil masters of abandonment whereas the daycare teachers can do no wrong, it's really a sad situation to be in as evil is not so becoming of me.

Our routine this morning was a little disrupted by a scheduled visit to the new daycare that M. will be starting in a few short weeks. I dressed him in his "good clothes", brushed his hair and made sure all the chocolate cereal was wiped off his face. I was so worried that "Mr. Hyde" would make an appearance in front of the new daycare staff, and when everything went smoothly, I sighed a breath of relief and packed him into the car. Now here's where it gets ugly...

Even with my dirty rear view mirror, I could see his "Mr. Hyde" face coming out. Thinking nothing of it, I chose to ignore his morning grumpiness and continued on our way...and then when I opened the door, Mr. Hyde spilled out of the car. My little boy was no longer there, and I just knew the morning would end with me looking up exorcists in the phone book again.

Must give credit where it is due though, I fully did not expect this tantrum, not on this morning. He caught me by surprise!

By the time we got to the door, he was done. There was no getting him in the building. I decided my best defense at this point was the "fine then, I'm leaving" tactic, which proved to be successful, surprisingly. Getting him into his classroom was another battle though. My full grown self, trying to force this 56 pound body into the classroom just was not happening. I pulled, I pushed, I carried and in return he screamed, cried and grabbed onto doorways.

The teachers inside the classroom were all like "we're young and beautiful and we didn't get ourselves knocked up by a man with cancer who then died" (which translates into: we're not helping you drag your 56 pound pile of screambag into this classroom, we'll just stare and play with our hair instead).

After about 10 more minutes of me bribing, pulling, blocking and pushing, I gave up. I saw the older teacher coming, I managed to pass him off to her and sneak away like a burglar, only like an anti-burglar who like leaves their kid places because they are having a temper tantrum.

Mornings like this are HARD! It's hard to get through the day without your mind wandering back to that moment, the flashbacks of hearing him scream for you as you walk away, it's really hard. It takes all my will to not turn around, take him in my arms and run back home with him, but not only is that the wrong thing to do, I do have to go to work.

So when I went to pick him up, the teacher praised me for being able to leave him that way. My first thought was this woman totally has a crush on me she has to be kidding right now, but then I saw she actually meant it. She went on to explain that not many parents do leave their kids while they are acting that way. I don't know if I can be proud though, it's so hard to walk away and I do it because I have to, not because I have some excellent Supernanny tricks up my sleeve.

I can't believe I ever thought this would be easy, because it is sooo not!

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Hello..this is my blog. I bought this fancy theme and I don't know what to write here just yet. Maybe one day remind me I have to write something inspiring here?


  1. That legoman cracks me up.

    I hope that's not what you become during these testing moments...LOL

  2. Nothing about parenting is easy. But there are least that's what I keep hearing.

  3. awww. :) i love how you write about your boy. and your blog is fab. :D

    first days are like that for kids. my parents had photos of me bawling on my first day at nursery. :D

  4. You a teacher..the best moment of the year for me is when the first round of teacher parent interviews comes around. There is always that moment when we look at each other without words and we connect over the fact that we understand what a freakin little monster their child can be at times. Not a judgement but soemthing we both understand at our core. We are stuck with this precious little snowflake and we can't do anything but try to work around their 'uniqueness' as we try to drag them through life. And no matter how great a kid they CAN be and usually ARE - they still make a mess and produce germs and should be left alone on a snake and bear infested island at least ONCE in their lives. What? Too much? I feel your pain sister girl.

  5. Carol - That's not me - that's totally him!!!

    Buggys - Very true!!

    Charlie - Thank you!! :)

    Cal - LOVE IT!! lol