How "Scotty" Makes My Life a Living Hell...

Have you ever been bullied? I have. This one time in kindergarten (like way back before I even got those big pink glasses) this big grade 8 girl would sit beside me on the school bus and eat my Wagon Wheels. She was so mean. I remember that bitch. If I wasn't such a shy kid who played with clip-on penguins I woulda punched her right in her face, between the nose and the mouth (right mom??). Maybe I just didn't care, because after eating Wagon Wheels everyday since the day I was born, they were getting a little boring, honestly, but the principle was, she stole my damn lunch everyday and it pissed me off. I honestly believe it was the beginning of my bottled up rage.

Then another time in grade 8 these girls made fun of my big pink glasses and my hand-me-down Hypercolour t-shirt I was given by my cousin and I ran home crying, and didn't leave the house for like the rest of the summer. More pent up rage. I think one time someone made fun of me at the zoo and my stepdad hopped out of his wheelchair (he had one leg) and beat that guy up in front of the Komodo Dragons, but I don't think I remember that too much, I just remember him beating that guy up and me laughing as we got kicked out of the Komodo Dragon exhibit.

Now that I'm a mother, one of my biggest fears for my child is getting picked on. Kids are friggin mean these days! I'm not even kidding, they make fun of him for not having a dad, like it's his fault or something. They make fun of him for his speech delay. They make fun of him for being sweet and bringing flowers for the teachers. These are five year olds I'm talking about here....FIVE! At this rate they will be smoking cigars and having sex in the Playboy Mansion by the year 2012.

I mean these kids are absolutely rotten..and I'm not saying my kid is a saint, but he is definitely the one who comes home and cries because of the "play yard profanities" he had been called that day such as: "Stupid Head", "Baby" and "Poo Licker" (which is a pretty awesome two-word obscenity for a five year old to come up with - way to go bully!)

But there is one kid that makes my life a living hell. "Scotty". "Scotty" is a jerk....and I honestly don't feel bad saying that, as ghetto as it sounds, he really is. "Scotty" throws sand in my kid's face every. single. day. Do you have any idea how hard it is to wash sand out of a kid's hair or how embarrassing it is to explain to a hairdresser that he has had sand in his hair for a week that just won't come out. Don't blame me, it's "Scotty".

Mornings are a huge struggle for us. Every morning it's a fight to get my kid out the door because he's afraid of "Scotty". Heck, I'm afraid of "Scotty" sometimes too, but mama's gotta work. It almost makes me feel like I'm dropping him off in prison and he's "Scotty's" bitch.

Every afternoon when I pick him up I hear all the "Scotty" stories. The other day he told me how "Scotty" stabbed a fish in the fish tank and it died...STABBED. DIED. Cry for help much?

I so badly want to find this "Scotty" kid, take a big dump truck of sand and pour it right down his pants so he'll be picking sand grains out of his arse for a week, but then I remember that there is very obviously something wrong with this kid. Maybe his parents divorced, dad died, maybe he is abused. Until "Scotty" gets some help, I will just sneer at his parents and stick my tongue out behind their backs, because that's how I roll.

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Hello..this is my blog. I bought this fancy theme and I don't know what to write here just yet. Maybe one day remind me I have to write something inspiring here?


  1. ok... remind me to tell kiddo to avoid this "Scotty" when he goes to daycare. Or beat him up the first day so Scotty can be kiddo's BITCH! I have a huge soft spot for ppl that gets picked on. when I first came to Canada, on the first day on the bus home from school. We didn't know about the little kids dont sit in the back seats rule. so my brother (2 years older)and I sat in the very back. A grade 8 was picking on my broher and broke his favorite bicycle keychain. He was so helpless... and I felt so bad for him that I started crying. It was such a tragic moment for me. I still remember it and even now, I cry whenever I see someone being picked on and is helpless.

    ok.. that comment felt like therapy. How much do I owe u?

  2. that is so sad! i hate that kids have to deal with this craziness. i hope it gets better.

  3. Mean, rotten, evil little kids. How dare 'Scotty' do such things. In the end though, I think we Moms are affected far more than our wee ones. It does hurt the heart.