Today is your fifth birthday. It's hard to believe you have been around so long and I am often left wondering where the time went. I can still remember the day you were born like it was only yesterday.
I don't know why this five year mark is so hard for me to swallow. I've been through birthdays 1-4 and those were easier compared tot his year and I just can't figure it out. To me, five just seems like the senior citizen of the pre-school world. You are about to embark in so much change this year. School, learning to read, tying your shoelaces (since velcro shoes in your size seem to be pretty rare these days), no more cheap kids meals, having to pay to ride the bus...the list goes on, trust me because I've thought of every little thing.
The day you were suposed to be born, I had an appointment to see the doctor. I went in there with the mind that the doctor would say okay "giddy up" let's go have this baby right now. Not likely, in fact he had plans to keep you in there at least another 10 days. TEN DAYS. Do you know what that's like in pregnant lady talk? Kidding - I had a picture perfect pregnancy...everything had to be perfect. Your dad was sick, there was no room for you or I to be sick - at all. So anyway, back to the doctor. He dropped the ton of bricks on me letting me know that you were not budging, that he would see me in a week and if by ten days you still hadn't decided to leave my picture-perfect womb then you would be given an eviction notice (induction I guess you would medically call it).
So I did what any desperate pregnant lady would do...I walked up 9 flights of stairs in the hospital parking garage, went on a marathon shopping trip, squats, bends, contortions...I did it all to give you the hint. I went to bed that night totally defeated. I was sure you were just a stubborn baby - and hey I was right!
I vaguely remember waking up sometime thta night with horrid cramps. These were killer - but for some reason the only thing on my mind was getting rid of the cramps and going back to sleep. Took some Tylenol and went back to sleep. I still can't believe I didn't realize anything.
Sometime around 6am I woke up startled and gasped out loud because my whole stomach did this big giant wave motion thing...it was odd. Your dad shot up like a bolt...and then it happened again only this time the wave was more powerful and had a lot of wetness associated with it...wetness that ended up all over the side of the bed.
Okay so you know when you're watching a cartoon - say for example Scooby Doo - and they have that groovy 70's montage where those meddling kids are running away from the "monster" and they show them all in like fast forward - a head coming out of a barrel, someone coming out of the mummy coffin and the monster coming out right behind them - just the hectic madness of it all - that is how I would describe this next part. It included packing the bag, me wetting my pants at least 3 times and giving up after the third pair, your dad phoning Texas when he was really trying to reach your grandmother...just a bunch of chaoticness. For some reason we thought that someone's water breaking meant the baby was coming right now...oh if we only had known.
When the taxi came to pick us up, I was in tears on the toilet because I couldn't stop leaking out disgusting fluid, your dad was a frantic mess and trying to console me and pack my things at the same time. I was pretty sure the taxi driver didn't want a mess in his back seat so I put on a maxi pad and brought a tea towel (a tea towel?? wth??) to sit on. Believe me, there is a good reason that I - your mother- is telling the world why I put on a maxi pad...just wait for it.
I will spare you the details of the next 24-hours. I know it would be an exciting read - but the thing is I have to work in the morning....and um....it would probably be a novel. So let's do point-form!
- Your dad forgot his medication at home so he had to go back home.
- Your dad also forgot to bring the keys home when he went so he had to break in - breaking the door in the process.
- Your Nana (daddy's mom) held my hand while I got my first IV - and yes I was close to crying, but I didn't so there!
- No contractions = induction medication.
- Contractions = killer - hated those...all 3 of them sucked big time.
- I got an epidural - and cried like a baby...to myself.
- Doctor suspected I needed a c-section - no food or drink from that point on.
- Doctor said no c-section - but still no food or drink just in case.
- Almost falling off the bed when one of my legs fell off - my sister, your aunt, seeing my bare ass as she caught me.
- Sneaking sips of ginger ale because the room was so dry...and they wouldn't give me ANYTHING.
- Your heart rate dropping to dangerous levels
- Having to lay in bed with a saline bag under my left side so your heart rate stayed up.
- Trying to push your big monster body out.
- Them trying to pull your big monster body out with novelty-sized salad tongs.
- The doctor pushing you back in and calling for a c-section (I swear that happened!!)
- Me crying like a baby because I knew then they would know that I snuck the Ginger Ale sips and I thought I would get in trouble.
- The surgeons asking if I was numb - me saying yes but not really sure and felt stupid for saying yes when I wasn't sure - yet I still didn't say anything for fear of looking stupid.
- Your dad coming into the operating room and whispering into my ear "I can see your guts"
You were taken to be shown to our weary visitors who were now at almost 24 hours in the hospital waiting room waiting to see your face...and you know what I don't think you would have had it any other way. You love to make people wait and then reward them with your presence with a witty comment or a fart - that's just you. You're all about wait for it - it will be good...and it always is.
Then came the feeling of my stomach getting hit by a Mack truck - I'll spare you the details, it wasn't pretty though. Then came that whole living with you part, that was difficult at times too but again, always worth it in the end.
Mason, no one has amazed me more than you - nobody has peed on me in bed as many times as you did either - but whose keeping track of that right?
Every single day you say or do something that blows my mind. Whether that be a hug without even asking or even by you telling me your true feelings of Shrek toothpaste, you are just such an amazing little person.
To say that we have been through a lot together would be the understatement of the century. Five (short) years of having you as the greatest son, my bestest best friend and trusty sidekick has been a blessing. I can't even begin to tell me what you do for me everyday, how you save me all the time from making huge mistakes and how you have taught me so much.
I look forward to the next 5 years of having you by my side (or at least just at my boob level...but not for long right?). I am not looking forward to having you as a lazy rebellious teenager, but I do look forward to seeing you grow up to be an amazing man, an awesome dad and maybe even a grandpa (one can dream right?).
Love you lots and lots everyday (those are your words- not mine)
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Hello..this is my blog. I bought this fancy theme and I don't know what to write here just yet. Maybe one day remind me I have to write something inspiring here?