Saturday, 13 September 2008

In a pinch...


About a year ago Mason and I were in the grocery store. It was one of those big mega Wal-Marts and they just so happened to have a tank of lobsters. Stupid me, thinking my almost 4-year-old would like to see the creepy little buggers so I said, "Hey Mason, let's go see the lobsters". Thinking it would bring such joy to the little guy...his eyes grew about as large as dinner plates and he screamed at the top of his lungs I DONT WANT TO SEE THE MONSTERS. I calmed him down and said a little louder...I said *LOBSTERS* not monsters.

I thought maybe it was just some sort of misunderstanding. That he really thought they were monsters. Not to mention I'm all for the face your fears stuff...except when it comes to bees...I still run when a bee is buzzing around me. So I rolled our cart over to the lobster tank. He took one look at the lobsters and went running like a mad man.

So he all of a sudden grew a fear of crustaceans. Anywhere he came across a creature with a shell and a claw he FREAKED. So imagine my shock when daycare announced they were getting not one, but three pet hermit crabs for the classroom. I was doomed. I knew it was going to be pure hell getting Mason to go to daycare with these little creatures in his classroom. The first day was a little rough, but as time went on he soon started to love the crabs. So imagine my shock when he actually started introducing me to his new crab friends and when he was excited to tell me what they did that day or what special snack they were eating. It was really quite charming.

So when I was switching his daycares, I wanted everything to go as smoothly as possible and I knew that he would miss his friends as well as his little crustaceous creature friends so I did the stupidest thing possible....I bought him his own crab, Herman. Herman Crabby McCrabbypants to be exact...he had a little help naming the crab! So we brought Herman home and everything went well. In fact, Herman began to get a little bit spoiled. Eventually he ended up with a crawl-up food bar, a coconut hut, a Batman shell and even a little crab swimming pool.


The crab mansion

One thing about Herman Crabby McCrabbypants in particular was that he loves to climb. The dude young man who worked at the pet store warned me that crabs like to climb things, but do I listen?? Nooo. I just figured he was trying to sell me the $14 lid to go with the tank just to sink me for more money...did it work? Of course! I didn't want to seem like a neglectful pet owner so I bought the stupid lid, but did I bother to put it on? Only until I fed him later on and it stayed off since because it seemed so sillly to keep taking off and putting on a lid to enjoy the crab (I think you guys see where this is going now?). So one day I'm on the comptuer and I hear a thud. I turn around to see Herman on the shelf just outside his cage!!! I rushed over and put him in the cage and put the lid with my heart beating out of my chest. I promised I would never leave the lid off again....until today that is.


The accused

Mason was standing over looking at Herman's palace cage and told me to come and look at him. So I went over...only there was no Herman in the cage. All of a sudden I saw something move out of the corner of my eye...Herman was out. So in the excitement I shrieked HERMAN GOT OUT!!! Now maybe that was the wrong choice of words because all of a sudden Mason leaps across the room in a single bound, eyes about the size of kiddy plates this time (not full fledged dinner plates...yet) and starts to cry. As if that's not enough, when I go to pick Herman up and put him back in his cage....HE PINCHES ME!!!

The evidence

Now as a side note, when I bought this creature I knew nothing. I didn't know the stupid things could climb. I didn't know what they ate and I sure as hell didn't know what it would feel like to be pinched. When I asked if they pinch, the guy said they pinch if they feel threatened and it only hurts a bit, but it would hurt a kid a lot. Well I must be a frickin baby then because right away I felt throbbing and tears well up in my eyes....plus the stupid dude forgot to mention that these little critters don't let go. So here I am with a crab swinging from my hand and by this point Mason is full-fledged hysterical and goes running out the room screaming "IT'S GOT MY MOM!!!". His eyes were now the size of dinner plates and the way he threw his arms up in the air and ran out of the room...I started laughing!! Well I guess the laughter shook the crab off my hand and I got him back into his home, but my hand hurt like heck!

Mason went and got me a Spiderman band-aid...it was actually really sweet of him since he was treating me the same way I treat him when he gets hurt. So later on I found Mason in front of Herman's tank having a boy-to-crab talk with him. It went a little something like this....

Herman, I don't love you now and when you go to the beach you better not pinch any more people.

Oh man I love that kid!

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