A little sad...

Tomorrow is Mason's last day at daycare. He's been going to the same daycare centre since he was 12 months old (I even remember the date - January 31, 2005). I'm not even really sure why we put him in daycare. At the time his father was very ill and we had nurses coming in and out of the house all day. I really think daycare was suggested just so he could have some sense of a normal life. Not that everything was horrible, because it wasn't all the time, but there were times when our home wasn't the greatest place to be emotionally.

I remember the day after his dad died we had to rush around to do things people do when people die...or so I guess, I didn't know what people do when people die but I do remember we had to pick out flowers and buy something for him to wear....but I remember most of all trying not to cry when I brought him in because I didn't want these daycare people to see me lose it. It was so hard leaving him that day. There was a sheet you had to fill out each morning and under special notes I wrote "Mason's dad died last night". Maybe it was stupid...but I just couldn't say it in person without losing it...and that was what I was afraid of - people seeing me cry. I wanted everybody to thnk I could handle everything that was happening and I didn't want to give anybody any kind of indication that I was depressed, shocked, angry...you name it. I think I did pretty well too...until daycare called.

My mom was staying at our house and she answered the phone. She told me it was the daycare teacher and I started bawling. I knew why they were calling and I didn't want to talk. My mom is pretty tough though, she made me and I remember crying and boogering all over the phone to his daycare teacher, Shelly. She's still there too...in the baby room. When I went to pick him up that afternoon they had bought me a plant arrangement and a card. It was my first sympathy gift and those plants actually stayed alive for the longest time.

As with any daycare, there were ups and downs...there were a few times when I wanted to call and say he wouldn't be coming back for one reason or another. It was usually snippy teachers but the snippiest one had left not too long after that and things were good.

I think this whole process would have been a lot harder if he was going to school, but he's not, just to another daycare down the street, a little closer to our house and we won't have to cross the busy road anymore. That's going to be the best part of tomorrow....crossing that road knowing it will be our last time having to "play Frogger" since the nearest crosswalk is super-far away.

So on to new things...I'm just hoping I made the right decision...