Blinders = off

A person who is someone I really look up to and love dearly told me she was mad at me tonight. She then asked if I had even noticed....and I didn't. I honestly thought she was just too busy to worry about what I was doing.

I feel like a total piece of crap. Truthfully it's not that I wanted to isolate myself so much from the people I love the most, but I feel like I have to because I feel as though nobody would want to be around me. I've made myself into this horrible, negative troll-lady that nobody would want to be around and I know it. I'm horrible to EVERYBODY.

I'm getting help now but I almost feel as though it's too late and I sometimes wonder if I am permanently damaged. Don't let yourself get so caught up in yourself...it can get ugly.

Now I must go reply to that e-mail that my best friend wrote to me on my birthday...2 weeks ago. I'm such a jerk.